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Biblical Submission: The Male Perspective

Shumi Mararike
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Biblical Submission: The Male Perspective

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Hold on, wait a minute. Did he say “submit”? How degrading! How archaic! Or is it? Some have perceived this to mean that women receive the rough end of the stick whilst men can kick their feet up on the desk and relax. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. Men are given a solemn and weighty call. One which requires a lifetime of devotion to fulfil. Gentlemen, your task is this: be Christ to your wife.

What is submission?

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Ephesians 5:23

The Greek term used for submission here is “hupotassō”. This a military term used to describe how a rank and file soldier would arrange themselves under the authority of their commanding officer. Therefore, while both men and women are to submit to the authority of God as the head of their life, women are to order themselves under the headship of their husband.

What is male headship?

In order to understand what male headship is, it is very useful to establish what it isn’t.

  • Male headship is not inequality. Men and women were created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26-27); equal in value and dignity, yet with their respective differences.
  • Male headship is not despotic. It is not cruel and demeaning, but is to lovingly lead the home in obedience and reverence to God.
  • Male headship was not birthed by patriarchy. While abuses of power have been perpetuated by the patriarchy, and should be fought against, this is not the case with male headship and female submission. They find their genesis in God’s creative order.

God created man before the woman, giving him commands, animals to name, and knew that he needed a helper, Eve, whom God also allowed him to name (Genesis 2:19-24). Moreover, man is the representative of the human race (1 Corinthians 15:21-22), through whom sin entered the world (Romans 5:12). Lastly, Adam was held accountable for the sin in Eden despite the fact that Eve ate the fruit first (Genesis 3:8-9).

As male headship comes from God Himself and was founded upon the creative order rather than patriarchy,  it demands our attention. We must heed to it. Men are to lovingly lead as women willingly and joyfully submit to their headship. He is to be Christ to her; reflecting Christ’s love for His church.

Sacrificial love

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Ephesians 5:25

A man is to love his wife with the greatest form of love – agape. This is the sacrificial, selfless and giving love. It is loving in spite of, rather than because of. In other words, loving when it may not even be merited and without the expectation of receiving back. The husband is to do this as he emulates Christ’s love for the church. The church which despised Him in their sinful state, yet He gave His life up for her. The same body of believers which continues to rampantly sin against Him, but He still persists in His love for her. This is not feelings based, this is sacrificial and intentional.

Sanctifying love

…that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:26-27

The husband is to love his wife with a sanctifying love. This love helps her to grow in holiness by cleansing her with the washing of the Word of God. In aiding her spiritual flourishment and wellbeing, He is preparing her to appear before Christ blameless and without blemish.

Caring love

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

Ephesians 5:28-29

Lastly, the man is instructed to lavish his lady with a caring love. Paul communicates this with an important reference to the body. When a man leaves his family to start his own, he and his wife become one body (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31-32). Christ and the church are also one body. Therefore, in a like manner to Christ, and as we ought to do with our bodies, the bridegroom must treat his bride with great care and attention because they are one. He must protect and constantly attend to her needs, loving his wife as she respects his leadership (Ephesians 5:33). While this includes her physical, emotional and mental needs, it is primarily a spiritual endeavour.

“The husband’s role is not ultimately to make sure his wife is physically and emotionally sustained. The real objective is that his wife will be prepared to meet Jesus.”[1]

Alistair Begg

The bigger picture

Two people fulfilling different roles well, makes for more harmony and less conflict. But there is a bigger, and more beautiful picture painted by their union: it reflects the Gospel. Christ gave His life for the church in order that she may be saved from her sin, sanctified and eventually presented blameless before Himself for the marriage day of Christ (the Lamb and bridegroom) to the church (the bride) (2 Cor 11:2; Revelation 19:6-9). God has honoured us by inviting us to partake in this Gospel witness, let us embrace it.

To read on biblical submission from the female perspective click here.

[1] Alistair Begg A Word to Husbands Part One February 4 2018

Three Habits to Strengthen Your Christian Life

Stacie Reeser
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Three Habits to Strengthen Your Christian Life

Life can look vastly different from one season to the next. Be it school and university, singleness or dating, marriage or divorce. Maybe a season of working long hours or multiple jobs. Whatever your current season looks like, variations make life beautiful and challenging, all whilst helping us grow. One of your greatest tools through life’s variations are healthy habits that help you stay strong internally, in spite of the changes you’re navigating externally. 

 ‘Good habits formed at youth make all the difference’. – Aristotle 

 In every phase of life there are things we can control and others we can’t (here’s looking at you, 2020!). Habits are small bits of life where we choose things we control and enforce those that are taking us forward increment by increment, inch-by-inch.

 ‘By developing and practising good habits each day, you affirm that you do have control over the very core of your life in the midst of the chaos’. – Stephen Guise  

Habits take us toward a congruent life where our values are carried out and expressed in our day-to-day living.  Habits can be revealing. Sometimes we say we value healthy relationships, but when we don’t make consistent, sacrificial investments into them, our values may in fact be different than we think. Our time, money, and habits are the great revealers of our true values. Here are three habits that, no matter what season of life I’ve found myself in, have helped me in my pursuit to live authentically. 

The Habit of Connection

This means regularly scheduling time for the people that matter most. Budget your time to include quality time for the relationships that matter. If you want to keep relationships growing and healthy (and who doesn’t?!), then you’ll need to make time for those people to have your undivided energy and focus. I’m amazed in my family of five how easy it is to do life alongside one another without stopping to invest in the quality of time and focus needed for genuine connection. When this habit is adopted, life as a whole functions better. We’re relational beings, made in the image of a relational God. When relationships are healthy, we find added grace and fortitude to cope with life’s hardships. 

The Habit of Community

Barna Group’s research shows that during COVID-19, one in three practising Christians have stopped engaging with the church during 2020, but that the emotional well-being of those who have stopped attending church has declined and is worse off than those who have continued to engage (Source: “State of the Church” report available at barna.com) I’ve observed people who’ve stepped out of a commitment to a local body for “good reasons” and those who have stuck with the habit of showing up for church in spite of disappointment. The fruit of those who stick with the local church compared to those who don’t is like comparing the fruit from a tree in summer to the fruit of a tree in winter.  Bold statement, but I stand by it.  My mum told me growing up that when I least wanted to attend church was a good indicator that I most needed to show up. When things are hard, we need each other more, not less. We need the word of God more, not less, when life is full and stressful. The harder life is, the more we need corporate prayer, singing, rejoicing, and sharing burdens and joy with each other. 

The Habit of Care

I’ve been exercising since I was twelve years old. I’m not obsessed with it, and I don’t even love it, but I’m committed to consistently doing it. Why? Because I’ve found it helps me cope better with the demands of life. It’s a habit that’s improved my emotional and mental resilience. Your mind, your heart, and your spirit are all housed in your physical body. Some things we struggle within our minds, in our hearts, even in our spirits can be helped by making sure our bodies get enough movement to stir the stagnant waters and burn off the stress of the day. 

 ‘Typically, people who exercise start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. Exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change.’ – Charles Duhigg 

What habits have you consistently carried through various seasons of life? Have they helped pull you toward living your values, or have they pulled you away from those values? Are there any of the habits above that you’d like to implement?

Resting in God’s plan

Maressa Mortimer
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Resting in God’s plan

Between contacting the adoption agency and actually bringing my children home, there was a time of preparation. It’s like being pregnant, having almost nine months to prepare your home, your heart and your mind. There are books to read, and in our case, classes to attend. We had almost a year between initial enquiry and our children coming home. We prepared a room for them, and it’s done with love. You only have to search on Pinterest, looking at pictures of nursery rooms could easily be a full-time job! Then there are the other details, so much preparation that 9 months or a year are quickly filled. In a similar way as to how we were prepared a year before meeting our children, In Ephesians 1 we see that God had prepared for us. He has chosen us, called us and brought us into His family.

Even if you don’t feel it, God is still working

When all the ‘behind the scenes’ preparation was done, we spent two weeks getting to know our children, spending more and more time with them, doing things with them, becoming closer and becoming a family. They had to learn to know us before becoming a part of us. Often God works in us for a long time, showing us more and more who Jesus is, showing us our need of a Saviour, calling us, drawing us closer to Himself, pouring out His grace in our hearts. Often we look back at this time of preparation in our life, and we marvel at the lengths our Heavenly Father went to, in order to show us how much He loved us. We look at Christ’s sacrifice, and His amazing love for us, and we know it’s all for God’s glory. So much of that is ‘behind the scenes’, and so much is still unknown to us, but we know that even now, Christ is preparing our heavenly home for us, “our mansions in glory and endless delight”.

My children are beautiful, funny and sweet, especially when life goes their way. Did we know this before they came to us? No, we had no idea. We knew a little about the trauma they had been through, we knew some of their likes and dislikes, we knew a little bit about their personalities. Thanks to our training, we knew some of the difficulties that might arise. We prepared ourselves as best we could, determined to love them no matter what. We prepared for them, wanting to bless them, using our human wisdom and prudence. As sinful, finite creatures, we often make mistakes. In Ephesians 1:8 however, we read that our Heavenly father has abounded towards us in all wisdom and prudence. Our Heavenly Father God also prepares good gifts for us, redemption and forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7). Why? Because we were such good children, and deserving of all His gifts? No, verse 5 tells us, because of His good pleasure, to the praise of the glory of his grace.

When God says “no”

Do you know what the most beautiful in this is for me? God knew us, He knew our hearts, knew everything about us. He knew that we would often despise His gifts, especially when He answers our questions with “No”, or “Not yet”. Young children struggle to hear ‘no’, and children with a traumatic background even more so, as it feels like a personal rejection of their entire being. Making a wise, prudent decision to not give our children chocolate doughnuts for dinner can cause huge meltdowns, as they feel rejected, unloved. As adults, we know better, we know we are doing what is best for our children. Have you ever felt forgotten, rejected by God, because He closed the door to your wonderful plan? He knew better, He did what was best for us because He loves us and cares for us.

So with Advent just beginning, now is a wonderful time to prepare our hearts and lives to remind ourselves how He has made us accepted in the Beloved, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, to be filled with the Spirit, to receive God’s blessings and to think about His grace.

Biblical Submission: The Female Perspective

Chiedza Jane Ikpeh
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Biblical Submission: The Female Perspective

In Ephesians 5, we find a very simple instruction given to the married men and women in the Gospel community at Ephesus. This marital counsel begins with a direct address to the women in the fellowship. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” [Ephesians 5:22‬]. And therein lies the fundamental word that inspires much rage and resistance. Submission. The mere mention of the word leaves many so seriously seething. But why?

Submission In The World

For many reasons, submission has been somewhat equated to a form of oppression, or relational subjugation. Unfortunately, this common perception is not too far-fetched, for in our world today, the forcible exercise of power and the excessive affirmation of authority on the part of some has been employed to the oppression of others across both social, political and religious spaces. From abusive husbands, to oppressive totalitarian government structures, to repressive religious communities, men have abused their positions of power to force others into a state of ‘submission’ of a kind.

But ‘submission’, as found in these scenarios, is not of the biblical sense. Rather, these instances only highlight the height of human depravity and serve to remind us that we, as human beings, are capable of so much evil in the absence of God, and in the absence of love. The Word of God affirms that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Therefore, the occurrence of abuse, oppression and repression in any human relationship is simply a reminder of the fallen nature of man (Romans 3:23). Thus, the problem we have here is not of submission, but of sin.

Submission In The Word

It’s important that we create a distinction between the world and the word when we talk about submission because the above scenarios that we saw in the world in no wise support the biblical view. Where submission in the world has resulted in fear, pain and persecution of a kind, submission in the Word holds hands with love and there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18). 

When Paul called women to the practice of godly submission, he never once suggested that the institution of marriage be treated as a combat sport; for marriage is not a competition, neither the man nor woman competitors. More so, Paul never once implied that submission be used as a metaphorical grappling hold, to force the woman to submit out of either extreme pain or fear of harm, for marriage is not a wrestling match. 

But if we are to view submission with a God-lens, by the inspiration of scripture, we find that there is a beauty and a glory in a marriage where the woman gives herself wholly to her husband, her only husband, who loves her as Christ loved the church. If we zoom in to the scripture and explore submission in the word, we find that Paul presents a complementarian view of marriage. 

The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.

Matthew Henry

No room for confusion

In Ephesians 5, Paul’s marital counsel is first towards the woman. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” [Ephesians 5:22‬. And if we pay close attention to Paul’s choice of words, we find that his counsel was quite evidently inspired by the Holy Spirit, in that no room is left for confusion [1 Corinthians 14:33]. It is clear that the instruction was/is not to every woman but the Christian woman; more so the married Christian woman. It is also very clear that the wife’s submission ought to be directed, not to any man, and not to any husband, but her own. Now, with all clarity as to whom, the question then becomes, what does submission look like in a Christian marriage? And how does a woman fully submit herself to her own husband?

What does submission look like?

In the latter part of verse 22, Paul begins to paint a picture of what biblical submission ought to look like in the life of the Godly, Christian wife. The instruction was closed with a qualifying statement “submit… as to the Lord”, which doubly confirmed that the address was towards God-fearing women only. So, what does submission ‘as to the Lord’ look like? The word submission is derived from the Latin word ‘submissionem’, which is a lowering, letting down; sinking, or ‘submittere’, which is to let down, put down, lower, reduce, and yield. 

How do you submit?

With that in mind, submission according to the scriptures is the act of yielding or surrendering your whole self to your husband, as you would to God [Romans 6:13; Ephesians 5:22]. It’s the act of humbling yourself before your husband, having recognised his authority, over you, under God [James 4:10; Ephesians 5:23]. It is giving your body a living sacrifice, that is holy and acceptable, as you would to the King of kings [Romans 12:1; Ephesians 5:24], having recognised that, within marriage, your body is no longer your own [1 Corinthians 7:4]. It is trusting your husband with your whole heart, within reason, as you would trust in the Lord [Proverbs 3:5-6; Ephesians 5:24]. And, it is loving your husband with all your heart, soul and mind as you would the Lord Jesus Christ [Matthew 22:37]. It is offering him dignity, in a manner that recognises him as a representation of Christ in your life, a fellow brother in Christ and as an image-bearer. However, one must realise that your husband is not God and must not take God’s place in your life. Now, if that’s the how, the final question is why? Why must the woman submit to her husband? 

What is the purpose of submission?

Well, if all things were made by God and for the glory of God [Colossians 1:16], then that includes the institution of marriage and the family. With that in mind, it is important that we understand the true purpose of marriage, that we may view submission in the context of God’s divine plan for humanity. For marriage was not created to glorify the woman or to simply satisfy the biological needs of the man. Rather, God created the woman out of the bosom of the man [Genesis 2:22], to bring the glory to Himself. God gave man a charge to steward the earth, He put man in the garden to work it and keep it [Genesis 2:15]. But the Lord also observed that man needed a helper, to fulfil this work. And thus, the woman was created [Genesis 18-25]. Likewise, Paul the Apostle paints a picture of how the manner or presence of the woman, more so the wife, can bring glory to God by the practice of biblical submission. 

For God’s Glory

So, if we are to view marriage as an earthly representation of the heavenly marriage that awaits the saints of God in glory [Matt 25:1-8; Revelation 19:7-9], when Christ will to present his bride, to ‘himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless’ [Ephesians 5:25-27], then submission will start to make sense. Just as the church submits itself, holy and acceptable to Christ, having recognised His glory and majesty, so ought the godly Christian wife to submit herself to her husband as an expression of worship to God. To honour the husband in godly submission, is to inevitably honour God since the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God [1 Corinthians 11:3]. To regard this divine order in godly submission is to worship the King of kings Himself.

And so there, we have the distinction between submission in the world and submission in the word – one word with two disparate appearances. One characterised by the presence of God and expressed to the glory of his name, while the other is characterised by His absence and that to the glory of self. With that in mind, ‘wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord’ [Ephesians 5:22] for you have the greatest opportunity to paint a picture of the Gospel to the world, through a God-fearing marriage, characterised by a godly submission.

To read more on biblical submission from the male perspective, click here.

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Our God Given Mission is to help millennial’s know the Gospel and preach the Gospel. Through our community, we aim create an environment where you can engage with us and other members on a deeper level so you can be an active part of the OGGM family.

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What is alive faith? Faith vs works

On Mission
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What is alive faith? Faith vs works

For many people, the epistle of James is one of the most controversial chapters in the Bible. At first glance, it looks as if James disagrees with the Apostle Paul on the matters of justification by faith. But as with most doctrinal issues, to gain a better understanding of the issue, we need to take more than a glace.

In his latest sermon at Ramp Church Manchester, Our Director, Mike Omoniyi, gives expository teaching of James 2:14-26 looking at the topic of ‘Alive Faith’, explaining the complementary relationship between faith and works.

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Witnessing for Christ

On Mission
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Witnessing for Christ

Joke: The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

A witness in a courtroom tells what he or she knows about a given situation. The Christian witness tells others what he or she knows about Jesus Christ and what it means to personally trust Him with his or her life.

Discuss

  • Why must we witness?
  • What are some of the barriers that hold us back from witnessing?
  • Do you agree with the quote ‘preach the Gospel, if necessary use words’.

When He began His ministry, Jesus called two fishermen, Simon Peter and his brother, Andrew, and said, “Come, follow me … and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). 

Through the ages, the same call has gone out to all those who put their faith in Jesus Christ. He reaches others through the faithful witness of people like you (2 Corinthians 5:19-20).

Reflect: If we don’t witness, what is at stake?

The different ways we can witness?

Your Life Example

As a witness for Christ, your life is a key part of your witness. You are a new creation; the way your new faith shows itself in your conduct is the greatest testimony you have (Matthew 5:16)

This means your habits and lifestyle should reflect a life given over to Jesus Christ. It does not mean that you must be perfect before you can be a witness. We all stumble from time to time as we are learning to walk, but as you learned in early on, God is willing to forgive your sins and put you back on your feet again.

People are watching us. How do we effectively witness through our life example?

The Power Of The Holy Spirit

You also need a power beyond yourself in order to witness. This is the Holy Spirit. Jesus promises that the Holy Spirit will give us power to tell others about Him (Acts 1:8).

When your life is clean and you walk under the control of the Holy Spirit, He is able to witness through you. A man named Philip was chosen to serve the church because he was “full of the Spirit and wisdom” (Acts 6:3).

He was having a successful ministry in Samaria (Acts 8:4-13), when an angel summoned him to go to Gaza (Acts 8:26), where an Ethiopian official was returning from Jerusalem. The Ethiopian was reading from chapter 53 of Isaiah at the time. Empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Philip began to talk with the Ethiopian using that very passage of Scripture and telling him the good news about Jesus (Acts 8:35).

Discuss

Do we have any examples of God using the Holy Spirit to witness in our lives?

The Power Of Gods Word

The third critical ingredient to effective witness is God’s Word: the Bible. In the story of Philip, God put the appropriate Scripture in the hands of the Ethiopian before He sent Philip to share with him. When the seed of God’s Word is planted in a prepared heart, it produces fruit — a new believer in Christ (I Peter 1:23).

It’s exciting to share your newfound faith in Jesus Christ with others. A great way to start is to tell how Jesus Christ changed your own life. There is great power in a simple and honest personal testimony. Also, be prepared with the facts of the Gospel message in mind.

SHARING YOUR FAITH – A Method

When you are explaining the Gospel, it may help to draw it on paper for the friend with whom you are sharing.

STEP 1: EXPLAIN THE FACTS.

On the top of your page, list the four basic truths of the Gospel.  List them one at a time and use a Scripture or two with each one.  Draw the graphic of God on one side of the chasm and us on the other. As you draw, share Bible verses that explain how the separation took place. Show how the cross bridges the chasm between God and us and how we can cross the bridge through faith in Christ.

STEP 2: INVITE A RESPONSE.

If you feel led by the Holy Spirit and the person is responding positively, offer an invitation, such as, “If this illustration is true — and I believe with all my heart that it is — then all of us are on either one side of the chasm or the other.” Then ask, “Which side are you on? Here … or here?” If your friend is unsure or knows he or she is on the wrong side, your friend can be sure of his or her position by:

  1. Admitting your need — that you are a sinner
  2. Being willing to turn away from your sins
  3. Believing that Jesus Christ died for you on the cross and rose from the grave.
  4. Praying to invite Jesus Christ to be the Lord and Savior of your life and control your life through the Holy Spirt

STEP 3: PRAY WITH THE PERSON RESPONDING.

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:13). Remember, Jesus Christ is the door to eternal life. Through prayer, we can enter that door and receive Him as Lord and Savior. Lead the person in a simple prayer, such as:

Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died for my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I now invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as Lord and Savior. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

STEP 4: CONFIRM THE NEW BELIEVER IN HIS OR HER DECISION.

If your friend sincerely prays that prayer, he or she has become a Christian and has been saved from eternal death! You will want to share some Bible verses (such as I John 5:12-13) to give your friend assurance of his or her new standing before God.

FOLLOW UP

When you help a person in coming to faith in Christ, remember that this individual is a spiritual baby (1 Peter 2:2). In order to grow, an infant needs nurture and care. This means encouraging the person to begin to read the Bible and pray regularly. You can do so by using this online Bible study. Share what you have learned from Living in Christ.

Also encourage this new Christian to find a Bible-teaching church in order to have fellowship with other believers in Christ and continue to grow.

Why Romance in a Fallen World Cannot Be Our Example

Oluwaseyi Sobogun
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Why Romance in a Fallen World Cannot Be Our Example

The Christmas season has just begun and the cheesy romantic Christmas movies are already populating our screens. They can be enjoyable to watch but these movies can also be full of false realities and unrealistic expectations. We cannot let our desires for romance be designed by a movie or by what we see in the world when God already has a predetermined plan. Who will we trust to fulfil our desires, God who is love, or man, who has yet to truly understand the meaning of love?

The danger of romantic movies

As much as we find them entertaining, romantic movies can paint dangerous ideas in our minds and cause us to lose patience in our singleness. We see images of people receiving what they want within 90 minutes and find ourselves comparing our lives to that timer. Sadly, for us, we only see the glamorised version of the romance that the actors are paid to display. The best parts of the scenes condensed from months of filming to mere minutes on our screens. We will never see the truth of what really happens in the relationship. Therefore, our best option is to take these stories with a pinch of salt and a lot of caution. Romance in a fallen world cannot be our example.

The biggest danger from romantic movies comes from the feelings experienced as we engage in them. Feelings of loneliness and unfulfilled longing. The questions of discontentment, insecurity, and inadequacy: “Am I enough?” “Why can’t I find someone?”. Chances are that the continuous lockdown has amplified these feelings. And if we try to find the answer to our hearts question anywhere other than the right source, we can be left more vulnerable.

These movies stir up impatience. They lead to restlessness which can drive us to take matters into our own hands. Abraham waited on the Lord for what was promised but along the way, he got weary in waiting, causing him to heed to his wife’s ill-conceived plan. This led to the birth of Ishmael, a son outside the covenant God had for Him (Gen 16). Despite this mistake, God kept his promise to Abraham. He would continue to wait again until God gave him what was originally promised. But Abraham learnt a valuable lesson which we need to learn too.

Patiently waiting, humbly trusting

We need to have more patience for the promises of God to be birthed into our lives. Babies take nine months to be fully formed. That time is important. God knew what He was doing when He set that limit. Premature births do happen, but we know the risks for both the mother and child. It is as with the plans God has for us. Running into a relationship prematurely, because of loneliness, without Gods approval, carries the risk of heartbreak and disappointment.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Perhaps we are focusing on the things we want rather than listening to what God wants for us. It is understandable with all the images of happy couples shining through our screens. But we must trust Him and the process. God will renew our strength through these seasons of exasperation (Isaiah 40:31) and provide us with wisdom to discern what is right, if we only ask Him (James 1:5). The Holy Spirit is our helper for a reason. It is the Holy Spirit that will guide us (John 14:2) and who will also fulfil us when we deeply yearn for romantic companionship. The same Holy Spirit that will be in the person God has for us.

The hardest part of waiting for many of us is the unknown. The not knowing if there is actually a spouse at the other end of our wait. But God never promised us a spouse. He did promise that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Joshua 1:5; Deuteronomy 31:8). Those are real promises we can stand on because God is faithful to fulfil His promises.

We must wait

Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for their promised son, Isaac (Gen. 17 & 21). Jacob waited and worked 14 years for Rachel (Gen. 29). He knew what he wanted and trusted that he would receive it. They had Joseph who would later save the children of Israel from being wiped out by a famine (Gen. 41:37 – 42:7). We can find many examples in the Bible of God guiding people to where they were meant to be, in His timing.

Ruth was doing something very honourable in taking care of her mother-in-law (Ruth 1). Boaz was minding his own business when Ruth presented herself to him. Their union was not by chance. Boaz redeemed Ruth and together they had Obed who had Jesse who had David (Ruth 4).

Unlike Boaz, David was not minding his own business when he stumbled upon Bathsheba. He committed adultery by taking Bathsheba knowing she was another man’s wife (2 Samuel 11). Although David found himself entangled in sin, God redeemed him. It is from this lineage that our Redeemer was born. The second child born through this union is traced in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. (Matthew 1:1-17).

Our most important relationship

Life is more than finding a spouse. The true blessing of singleness as Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7:32,35, is the opportunity to focus on the most important relationship in our life; our relationship with Jesus Christ. Single or not, our lives have an eternal purpose once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. The greatest love story between you and the Creator (John 3:16).

In as much as Paul implores us as singles to remain as we are (1 Corinthians 7:40), he does not diminish the beautiful sanctity of marriage. We must do the same. In singleness, embrace the wholesomeness of the journey, to be undivided in our attention to the Lord. In dating, to continue to keep our attention on the Lord. And in marriage, to bring our spouses and family to the Lord, continuously, as we dedicate our attention to Him. Our focus always on Him.

This Christmas season, instead of dreaming about a long-awaited romance, we can look to share the love that God has lavished upon us to those around who may be missing out. We may not have a significant other to share this holiday with, but we have friends, family, a church community. I believe there are people within our close circle that would benefit from the love that we can share in light of Christ’s love for us, especially in this pandemic. We have an opportunity to share the best relationship we will have this side of heaven. The type that lasts longer than a 90-minute movie.

How Do We Display Honour Today?

Chude Obuaya
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How Do We Display Honour Today?
Prefer to listen? Listen here!

Displaying honour can be difficult, especially to those older than us, because it requires us to resist the urge to debunk the rules instead of readily giving in to the command or authority of our elders. Honouring becomes harder still when the recipients of such honour are undeserving of it or demanding it in an audacious manner. Despite the difficulty, the scriptures are clear. God commands that we show honour to those who it is due (Romans 13:7).

But what does honour mean and how can we best display it?

What is honour?

To honour someone is to hold them in high esteem or grant them great respect. The Bible is replete with commands to show honour to others, especially our elders (Leviticus 19:32; Romans 13:1; Ephesians 6:2). The term elders do not simply refer to the people that are older than you, but to those who are in positions of authority. According to Peter-Contesse, the term ‘elders’ in many cultures around the world age is still associated with authority and wisdom. The Hebrew term actually means ‘the beards’ or ‘the bearded ones’, signifying the wealth of wisdom and knowledge that accompanies decades of life experience.

We give those who are considered elders (whether by age or position) honour since all honour and authority belongs to God and He delegates this authority to whom He wishes. (Rom 13:1)


Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

Roman 13:1

Consequently, displaying honour to our elders reflects the honour we give to God. The scriptures never exhort us to demand honour, only to give it. Therefore, how do we overcome the struggle of remaining honourable to authorities, parents and elders alike, who not only demand honour, but whose actions prove that they are unworthy of honour?

Overcoming this tension requires us to understand the purpose of our actions when deciding to honour and submit to authority even when they are undeserving of it. We give honour, especially when it is difficult because we want to declare to those around us that we honour God first and the honour the people He places in particular positions for His purposes. Even when placed in a difficult position by a person of authority, honour is still due.

What about me?

Honour isn’t unidirectional. What this means is honour isn’t just due to those who are above but also to those who are below. Romans 13:7 says

Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honour to whom honour is owed

Romans 13:7

And who is owed honour? Everybody (1 Peter 2:7). Human beings are the crowning point of God’s creation, made in God’s very image (Genesis 1:26). This means that man reflects the very image and glory of God. Therefore, every human being is worthy of dignity, respect and honour (Psalm 8:5). When we ascribe value to humans we are merely mirroring what God did first in creation, which is to crown each human being who will ever be made, with glory and honour. When we acknowledge this we make much of God’s handiwork.

Honour one another

In Ephesians 5-6:10, we see Paul outline the practical applications of holy living in relationships. Paul demonstrates how submission is vital to walking in love in our various relationships. In these verses, we can see how submission and honour are inextricably linked. If we are to rightly honour those in our lives, submission is required (Ephesians 5:22 – 6:9). Submission here is not forceful subordination to a person, but a joyful laying down of the will to serve another. When we see submission this way it will allow us to give honour more freely. For example, when parents give commands to children, they won’t see obedience as their parents trying to reduce their joy but increase it. Furthermore, parents that are committed to honouring won’t act in such a way that frustrates their children but treat them as fellow image-bearers and if in Christ, co-heirs.

Give and receive honour

So how can we promote a culture of honour in our various relationships?
Romans 12:10 speaks clearly to this;

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.

Romans 12:10

If we want to be people who both give and receive honour well, we must first receive and give love well. Honour and love are both derived in God. We look to Jesus and see that He is worthy of all honour, and also, that He is love. From this revelation, we can see how He endows honour and love on His people. He has clothed us in honour because we were created to reflect the honour that God alone deserves. So honour is not an option, but our duty. We must show honour to others and receive honour from others. Once we do this we will reflect the glory of God all the more.

“Should I be calling my Pastors Daddy?

On Mission
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“Should I be calling my Pastors Daddy?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6ozMsBaF0MdjL9qeHvWzNC?si=0TNRTc0wSzWIdRLUGplbcw

In this weeks episode of the podcast, we are bringing to the table, the topic of honouring our leaders. The Bible calls us as believers to appreciate, respect and honour our leaders, but what does this look like in the 21st century Church?

Guests: Mike Omoniyi, Elijah Ajuwon, Raphael Olu-Jide, Shumi Mararike 

Join the discussion online using #onthetable

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