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Why We Need Community as Christians

Emmanuel Oganla
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Why We Need Community as Christians

The Bible describes the community of Christians as the body of Christ. Like the body is made up of different parts, the body of Christ is made up of different individuals. The intention of God clarified throughout the New Testament is that every Christian forms a significant part of the community or body. In this article, I will be uncovering why as Christians we need community, fundamentally and practically. I pray that you will embrace your need for community and that it bears good fruit in your life in Jesus’ name.

Embodying the God of community

The Christian cannot honour God without living in community. I propose the notion that community aids us in being image bearers, which ultimately allows us to honour God, a fundamental reason we need community.  

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

Genesis 1:26

Being God’s image or his representation is more connected to living in community than we realise. This is because God exists in community. In Genesis 1:26, when ‘us’ is used, it refers to the Godhead, the three persons that form the community where God exists and works all things, namely, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. Fundamentally, if we neglect community then we are neglecting to be God’s image, which in turn leads to a plethora of other issues. Without knowing it, living in isolation can be a claim that one is more capable than the God who lives in community.

Man with the Bible

The person within the Godhead we are called to embody specifically is Jesus, who lived as a human being in community. He had a community of twelve men he shared life with and within the twelve, he had an inner circle of three. I remember exploring the idea of community amongst a group of men I share life with meaning we walk through the scriptures together and hold each other accountable.

We were speaking about the need for community and one of them made a point about Jesus, who took the three within his inner circle: Peter, James and John with him to the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus was about to face the temptation of choosing his will over the Father’s so he told them to watch and pray (Mark 14:32-42). Granted they weren’t the best accountability partners at that point because they fell asleep, nevertheless, he saw the importance of having people who were watching and praying whilst he faced his test.

If Jesus sought community, who then are we to think we can do this Christian walk alone?

Obeying scripture’s mandate for community 

It can be more difficult to be obedient to the scriptures if we live outside of community.  The New Testament authors, inspired by the Holy Spirit encourage us towards community with verses like:

  • ‘Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ’ (Galatians 6:2)
  • ‘Exhort one another daily so that you are not hardened by the deceitfulness of sin’ (James 3:13)
  • ‘Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed, for the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’ (James 5:16)

These are amongst many admonitions towards community in the New Testament. These verses can only be adhered to by those who are actively living in community and the consequence of isolation often means that Christians are discouraged and struggling alone.

A brother or sister can remind you that there is no condemnation in Christ when there is a temptation to yield to condemnation. A brother or sister in Christ can stir you up into faith and good works and a brother or sister can sharpen you as iron sharpens iron. Community allows us to practically apply Paul’s admonition to Timothy to ‘flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart’ (2 Timothy 2:22). A phone call to a trusted brother or sister when youthful lusts seem more appealing than righteousness could be what aids you to ‘flee and pursue’. Having communities that help me to apply this and the above verses has proven to be a major source of strength and it should be for every member of the body of Christ. If it isn’t then we are being disobedient to the scriptures.

It’s clear to see biblically that the call to community is non-negotiable if we truly want to honour God and glorify Him. At its root, community allows us to be image bearers and practically, it allows us to mirror Jesus, our God who lived in community. It also allows us to be obedient to the admonishments that scripture calls to. It can make a significant difference in us thriving and being victorious or being discouraged, living in defeat, in our walks with God. I pray again that God allows you to see your need for community and for it bear good fruit in your life.

God’s Plan for Our Financial Well-being

Chinedu Agwu
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God’s Plan for Our Financial Well-being

Jehovah Jireh – the Lord who sees beforehand and provides

With two thirds (66%) of adults in Britain reporting their cost of living increased in the past month, rising energy prices are a growing factor in the squeeze on household budgets. With a rise in living cost, the current financial climate can breed uncertainties about the financial future. Many of us are able to work for most of our lives because God has provided wonderful opportunities to earn a living. We may not always work in a job that we particularly love (some do!), but out of our obligation to provide for our family and to be a contributing member of society, we endure each day, doing whatever God has given us the opportunity to do. As Christians, we know we are to do all things unto Lord and not for man (Colossians 3:23) and should have an attitude of gratefulness as we work. Why, then, do so many of us fear about the money we earn each week? There is the fear of losing it, or the fear of not having enough—perhaps the fear of whether we are investing it properly or fear of not being able to pay our debts. What is driving this fear, and how do we silence it? This article is for the person going through financial stress or hardship.

Financial peace is yours

One thing I learnt around 5 years ago is that the money I make is not my own, but the Lord’s and He has given me stewardship of His money. Therefore, if I am only a “keeper” of said money, I can rest assured that God will take care of what is His! However, it is up to me, to be responsible with what I have personally been given stewardship over. What is also important as Christians, is to eradicate the “poverty mindset” that we should live in lack and also the “materialistic mindset” that we are entitled to everything, but rather through Christ we are fully equipped to live a dynamic financial life (Philippians 4:12-13). More importantly, amid our financial challenges, do we try to still give generously? Be it your tithes, church offering, a £1 donation to a foodbank, buying a sandwich for a homeless person or volunteering your time to support an elderly person with their garden, let us continue (where possible) to be cheerful givers.

Financial freedom is yours

I assure you that this present suffering is only temporary, our finances do not have to steal our peace or joy. What the world did not give, it cannot take away. Where possible find a safe space to be transparent about your financial journey be it in lifegroup, a spiritual mentor, family and/or friends or even Christian financial charities such as CAP. Talking about finances is the beginning of surrender and a step towards freedom, as you hand over your cares to the Lord to carry the weight you were never meant to alone.

Useful financial tips

  1. Speak life over your finances and change your financial language
  2. Start and Maintain an Emergency Fund
  3. Stay Disciplined > accountability partners can help keep you in check
  4. Don’t Spend More Than You Make
  5. Small Savings Add Up – Don’t Underestimate the Small Changes
  6. Plan for Large Purchases > avoid impulse buying
  7. Create a Budget Plan and Track Expenses using Excel sheet/book (Monzo or Revolut card are useful for monitoring spending)
  8. Monitor Subscription Services > do you need everything you subscribe to?
  9. If you drive, compare petrol price using petrolprices app also consider car sharing to split petrol prices and combining with public transport use
  10. Subscribe to “Lookaftermybills” to receive regular updates on how to save money

I hope by reading this that you understand our financial wellbeing is influenced by the spiritual and physical actions we take. Though there be “financial crisis” and anxiety/fear may be thick in the air, trust that you serve a God who will provide your daily bread (Matthew 6:11). Whilst we strive to earn more money, get a promotion, pay our bills let us remember to store our treasures in heaven and not on earth (Matthew 6:19) and continue to walk in the will of God. Friend, remember it is God’s will to provide for you, so continue to be specific in your requests whilst giving thanks (Philippians 4:6-7). And finally, in your prayers remember the needs of others when praying for financial breakthrough/increase.

Help! I’m Struggling to Pray

Shumi Mararike
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Help! I’m Struggling to Pray

Prayer is an opportunity to communicate with the Creator of the Universe as our Father. His ear never grows tired of our cries. Prayer is a privilege, and should be a delight.  However, so many of us find it difficult to make the time to pray. To be frank, some of us just find it boring, so we’d rather do something else. Distractions abound. Isn’t it funny how all the other tasks and errands spring to mind when you finally sit down to pray? We then convince ourselves that they must be tackled immediately, and just like that, prayer is over before it even began. Prayer is a struggle. So how can we help ourselves when we are struggling to pray?

1. Make Prayer a Priority

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we don’t have time to pray. This is not a time issue; it’s a belief issue. We make time for the things we consider most important. Hence, if we don’t set time aside in the day to pray, it’s likely that we believe prayer is less important than all our other daily activities. The irony is, the busyness of our days should give us more reason to pray. A failure to pray is a failure to follow our Lord’s example of humble dependence on the Father (Mark 1:35; Mark 6:46; Luke 5:16) and ignores the numerous commands to practice this spiritual discipline (Romans 12:12; Colossians 4:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:17). Therefore, we must make prayer a priority. Our souls need it.

2. Pray With Others

Praying with others is a good way to combat prayerlessness. Corporate prayer often renews our desire to pray. There is something powerful about linking arms with fellow believers, with one heart and in one accord, praying for yourself or interceding for others (James 5:16). What previously felt burdensome becomes lighter as you share the load with your brothers and sisters in prayer. Persisting in corporate prayer cultivates the discipline needed to pray privately. Attend your church’s prayer meetings. Reach out to members of your church family, or grab a couple of friends and pray together.

3. Use prayer cards, notes, jars etc.

Prayer cards, notes, jars and the like provide a good starting point if we don’t know what to pray. These help to focus our prayers, yet simultaneously build a sense of anticipation as you prepare your heart and mind to pray on the given topics. For example, you may divide the content of your prayers into the following categories:

Monday: the salvation of family, friends and colleagues

Tuesday: the church (local and global)

Wednesday: politicians, rulers, government and so on.

4. Pray the Scriptures

The Bible is overflowing with material we can use to a revitalise our prayers. By drawing inspiration from the psalms and the prayers of Scripture, we learn that we can bring anything to God in prayer with great honesty and vulnerability. For instance:

  • Hannah’s prayer demonstrates God’s compassion toward those who pour their heart out to Him in desperation. Accordingly, God removed Hannah’s shame and disgrace by giving her a child after years barrenness (1 Samuel 1).
  • Hezekiah’s prayer reminds us that even in the face of severe illness and imminent death, God can respond to our pleas by healing us extending our days (2 Kings 20:1-6).
  • Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians provides a weighty supplication for the church. It reveals one of the the church’s great needs: to receive wisdom and greater revelation of who God is and the hope to which He has called us in Christ (Ephesians 1:15-23).

We can also pray the psalms. For example, reading Psalm 23 can lead us into prayer concerning God’s shepherding care over us in. Additionally, the transparency in the Psalter encourages us to speak to God honestly and openly when praying certain passages. To illustrate, Psalm 42 helps us to acknowledge our discouragement. We then pour out all our emotions, speak to our souls, and encourage ourselves by re-ordering our hope in God. Click here to see more detailed examples of how to pray the psalms.

5. Pray the Lord’s Prayer

If ever in doubt, pray the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6: 9-13). It fixes our attention on what matters most: God’s holiness, His glory and His kingdom, before turning to our own needs. How Jesus taught us to pray is less me-centered and more God-centered. Each petition is rich in its content and is a goldmine of material for lofty prayers to God.

Prayer does not have to be dull. As we commit to make it a priority and adopt the various approaches to prayer above, prayer will excite us. It will refresh our souls and help us enjoy our fellowship with God. Some periods will be better than others. Despite this, make every effort to develop a consistent prayer life and see how the struggle reduces as the joy increases.

Take away points:

  1. You have time to pray, make it a priority – It all starts with just talking to God.
  2. Praying with others, encourages your spirit to make a start.
  3. Use prayer cards, or notes to aid your memory and build focus.
  4. Follow the examples of fellow believers’ prayers in Scripture. Look at their testimonies and remember that no matter the situation God will come through.
  5. When in doubt or stuck, follow Jesus’ example and let it guide you.

Your Pastor Needs You

Chude Obuaya
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Your Pastor Needs You

Your pastor is human. It perhaps doesn’t feel that way when they stand on a pulpit or facilitate a bible study, but pastors are human. This means that your pastor has both positive and negative emotions. In an age where church hurt is coming to the fore, often pastors are left out of these conversations. It may seem like everyone can be discouraged by the church except pastors. After all, the sheep are the vulnerable ones. But what happens when the sheep turn on their shepherd, or perhaps worse when they neglect their shepherd? Being a pastor requires much responsibility and that weight may be unbearable at times. The scripture commands us to bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and what better way to alleviate some of the burdens your pastor may be carrying than by encouraging them.

Remember Your Pastor

How does your pastor feel? Do you know? We may fall victim to the kind of thinking that reduces a pastor’s work to the 1 hour he may be allocated on Sunday. But the preaching of the word, although a critical work, only scratches the surface of what a pastor may be engaged in during the week. Hebrews 13:17 states ‘Obey your leaders and submit to them, since they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account, so that they can do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you’. The role of the pastor is to be a shepherd over our souls. This is a seismic task, the size of which is often misunderstood by the sheep. We can be so focused on what the pastor does, that we neglect to be concerned about how they feel. We want our pastors to do a good job yet we neglect to consider how the pressures of life, the disheartening comments of saints, and the unbelief of the community may be weighing our pastors down. The writer in Hebrews instructs us to not add further weights to the load our leaders are already carrying; instead alleviate the weights through obedience and submission, since our pastors doing a good job is for our benefit.

Tend to the Wounded Shepherd

Over the last two years, we have seen a substantial rise in the stories of church hurt. Perhaps, being away from the physical gathering has allowed people to reflect on their church experiences. These stories ought to be shared and bring light to the way that Christians can often let their fellow covenant siblings down. However, how often do we hear stories about our pastors? Have you considered that your Pastor may have experienced or is currently experiencing church hurt too? There are so many different people, with varying personalities and needs. Pastors can’t make everyone happy and for some, a pastor’s best efforts just aren’t good enough. The very people pastors are called to serve may be the very people that disappoint pastors the most. However instead of complaining about our pastor’s quality of work here’s what Paul exhorts us to do, ‘Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to give recognition to those who labour among you and lead you in the Lord and admonish you, and to regard them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves’ (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13).

It can be easy to focus on the pastors who have failed, but many pastors are labouring to faithfully keep watch over your soul. So, the next time you seek to complain about what your pastor hasn’t done, remember what they have done and encourage them to keep going. After all, it’s for your joy that your pastor does their job well.

davecreates’ New Album Explores All Things Love

M.T. Omoniyi
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davecreates’ New Album Explores All Things Love

We sat down with rapper davecreates to talk about motivations, God’s love and creativity following the release of his much-anticipated debut album Amour.

London born and Essex raised, davecreates is a creative with eclectic taste, consistent work rate and versatile expression. He delivers rhythmic rhyme, witty wordplay and profound perspective over the backdrop of soulful soundscapes, expressing hope and excellence while challenging listeners to be the best version of themselves.

Having previously collaborated with the likes of Grammy-nominated Alic Walls (Walls Group) and shared the stage with top talents such as US rapper S.O. and MOBO Award winner Triple O, davecreates continues to push the boundaries of sound with popular releases including ‘Transform’ and ‘Kinfolk’. 

His music has been featured on notable platforms including BBC 1Xtra, No Signal and Rapzilla, and he continues to expand his global reach through social media.

Read more: davecreates’ New Album Explores All Things Love

What inspired this new album?

Whenever I approach creating art, I aim to capture the thoughts, feelings and emotions of the space and time I find myself in. During the process of creating Amor, I was in a place where I wanted to be more open and vulnerable about different areas of my life, in particular relationships. The main inspiration of this album is love and romance, following the journey of falling in love and understanding how that changes oneself while seeing how this path reveals areas within that you didn’t know needed healing, and ultimately asking yourself if you’re willing to make the necessary changes in order to grow.

The deeper I’ve got into music the more I’ve enjoyed soulful soundscapes and pensive lyricism. Listening to artists such as Alex Isley, Saba and Children of Zeus also provided musical inspiration, challenging me to delve into the world of hip-hop/soul and leave my own sonic fingerprint on this unique sound.

What motivates you to create?

Creativity is a way that I can express myself and connect with others, as well as helping me process what I’m going through below the surface. I have many memories of listening to songs or watching films that have spoken to my situation at various high and low points of my life – feeling this and realising the healing power of art inspires me to use my creative gifts to connect with others. It also motivates me to continue being open and vulnerable in my art, knowing that someone out there will relate and hopefully benefit.

I see creativity as a gift given by God! Stewarding this gift well is a way in which we can honour Him – knowing this also motivates me to create, whether through writing songs, producing instrumentals or exploring photography. I ultimately see my creative efforts as a way of bringing glory to God.

How do you think about God’s love?

Where do I start? God’s love is far beyond what we can ever understand and comprehend with our limited human intellect. From what I’ve experienced in life and through understanding the Bible, I know that God’s agape love isn’t dependent on my mistakes or goodness, it’s a love that is sacrificial, a love that guides and disciplines, a love greater than anything I could earn and deserve and a love I’ll forever be grateful for and model my life after.

What do you hope this new album achieves?

To finally release this album after working on it for about two years feels like an achievement in itself! I’d love this body of work to help others process their own journeys in and around relationships, as well as inspiring other creatives to take risks with their art and be honest in their expressions, even just in general day-to-day life. I often feel that there isn’t a lot of music present within the more chill/alternative side of hip-hop compared to other more popular sounds – especially within the Christian creative community. To help bridge this gap and see others delve into this sound would be exciting!

Who are your biggest artistic influences?

My palette of musical influence ranges from hip-hop to gospel to neo-soul to rock! Over the years I can cite someone like Kendrick Lamar for his elite penmanship and mastery of the craft. The timelessness of his art is something I’ve studied and drawn much inspiration from. Other influences include Hawk House for their seamless fusion of experimental hip-hop and soul, Emmavie for her lush vocals and immersive vocal arrangements, John Givez for his raw yet heartfelt honesty and Hayley Williams for her passionate vocals and energetic sound she crafted with Paramore. I’d also shout out Jay Prince for the way he combines future bass, R&B and hip-hop into eclectic and melodic vibes!

davecreates can be found on all major social media platforms at @iamdavecreates | Download/Stream “Amor“

How Do We Reconcile God’s Sovereignty and Suffering in this World?

Chude Obuaya
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How Do We Reconcile God’s Sovereignty and Suffering in this World?

Why is the world full of suffering? This is the question that plagued me for much of my early 20s. A good God and a suffering world just seemed incompatible to me. If God is sovereign, couldn’t He make all the world’s problems go away? There is something about suffering that causes us to ask questions. What can start off as honest interrogation to diagnose our situation can end up spiralling into faithless accusations toward God. In a world that was first created as good (Genesis 1:31), how do we explain the state it is now? How do we reconcile a sovereign God in a world full of suffering?

Not just Sovereign

To be sovereign is ‘the power or authority to rule’ as defined by the Cambridge dictionary. If you have been around churches for any length of time you’ve heard this term used to describe God. However, whilst this describes God’s position in the world, it doesn’t describe His character. After all, if God was sovereign but evil, we might be able to understand the suffering in the world better. But that’s not the picture that the Bible depicts. In fact, this is how God describes Himself ‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation’ (Exodus 34:6-7). The picture that is consistently painted about God is that He is perfectly good. This is what makes it difficult for both Christians and non-Christians alike to reconcile suffering in the world when there is such a good God.

Glory is coming

Sin ruins everything. From the moment that Adam and Eve fell into the garden, the world was never the same again (Genesis 3:6-7). As sin entered the world, so did suffering. But sin and suffering didn’t come alone, hope came alongside them. ‘And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.’ (Genesis 3:15). Where sin sought to have the final word, God said no. Instead, He gave us a word from the beginning that sin, along with suffering, will be finally destroyed. In the person of Jesus, we see the fulfilment of this sure word given in Genesis. Sin is defeated forever (Hebrews 2:14-15). Whilst we don’t see the total accomplishment on this side of eternity, what we do have is hope – that sin and suffering in all its forms won’t have the last say. So, whilst we wait for that glorious day where suffering is no more (Revelation 21:4), let’s learn to trust God. Whilst the suffering in this world may be great, it is nothing compared to the glory that awaits us (Romans 8:18 cf 2 Corinthians 4:16-17).

How to Approach Online Dating as a Christian

Oluwaseyi Sobogun
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How to Approach Online Dating as a Christian

We are always talking about it – dating. It seems everyone is doing this. If you have ever been curious about online dating but are not sure how to go about it, this article might offer some guidance. Online dating can be used by Christians, and there are dating sites and applications specifically designed to help Christians find each other. A few of us have considered this as an option however, we are unsure how to approach it. Hopefully, this article opens the discussion to the possibilities of online dating for the Christian.

3 Reasons Why

The first question we would usually ask is should we even use online dating as a Christian. Many have argued that it is taking control out of God’s hand and going ahead of Him. However, here are possible reasons why many have chosen to use this as their route to a relationship or marriage.

  1. Convenience – When time is limited, this could be more convenient to find someone suitable Less time is used to meet new people. It is accessible anywhere and everywhere with phone applications.
  2. Availability of choice – Online dating allows an opening to engage with potentials from all over the world. The networks and variety are as vast as the app allows. We can meet people who are different from our usual choice.
  3. Intentionality – A large majority of these apps allow the user to filter down their selection to people seeking the same type of relationship. Additionally, the user can post what they are looking for on their page, creating more intentional interactions.

Purpose & Priorities

When online dating, we can be very purposeful in our approach. We can do this by setting out our priorities before we decide to download an app. What are we looking for? A Christian. This is more than someone who ticks Christian in their bio, we need to seek people who genuinely believe in Jesus. Not only that, but those whom we are also compatible with.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14

Even two ox yoked together can pull in different directions if they are not compatible. We should look for alignment of visions, goals and expectations as well as a fervent faith. Are we going in the same direction and can our lives merge? Do our visions for marriage align? A Christian actively seeking other Christians will make an effort to be as open as possible about their faith on their page. Use the filters to reduce unnecessary conversations and save time.

Additionally, instead of trying a multitude of dating apps at the same time, focus on one app for a time. Assess the choices available and choose what is most suitable for you. As a Christian, an app where the chances of meeting a like-minded Christian is higher should be the most appropriate choice. Ask the advice of friends or others from your community who have used dating apps.

Hands pointing at a Laptop

Active accountability

This is a crucial part of approaching online dating in a healthy and open way. Do not do it in isolation or secretly. Let someone know you are on the app, discuss with them any potential and seek their advice whenever possible. People have been known to hide their use of online dating as a secret when it should not be. We are children of light, not darkness. God sees our actions and knows our heart’s intent (Psalm 139:1).

For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light

Luke 8:17

Ultimately, we should pray about our choices, looking for discernment and guidance from the Holy Spirit but equally our friends and family members can offer us advice. They see who we are, know what we are about and desire the best for us.

On an online dating app, it is more likely the person is single, yet it is not always guaranteed. There are benefits of shared counsel. It can help us to avoid disappointment and heartbreak if extra reconnaissance is done from our support systems. Every believer should be plugged into a local church; this provides further accountability for both individuals.

Patient Pursuit

All types of dating require patience and time. Online dating does offer a more speedy process. If we see someone we find attractive and desire to know more, we send them a like. If they don’t respond, it typically means interest is not reciprocated. On the other hand, if we match then we are at least assured there is initial mutual interest. Then we can both move on to find out more about the other through conversation and possibly outings. It is quick and can happen in less than a day or week.

The danger of this method is how swiftly we can find ourselves swiping on every person we find attractive. I urge us to take time as we would in another scenario. Patiently read through the profile, all information provided and ensure this is a person we would like to know more about. If we change our minds, kindly communicate that to the person. We should love with affection, tenderness and graciously (Ephesians 5:32).

The world is changing. We are more used to interacting and even meeting people through online platforms and social media. Although the desire for marriage will remain, we can choose different routes to reach it. Online dating is another possible option to meet Christian people interested in a romantic relationship.

Why Does It Matter That God Is Our Father?

Chinedu Agwu
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Why Does It Matter That God Is Our Father?

“Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” (Galations 4:6-7). God presents himself as a father. During the Old Testament, this was a new way for the Jews at the time time to address their all-powerful and all-knowing God. While Old Testament writers sometimes described God using qualities of earthly fathers and mothers, Jesus referred to God using more informal, intimate language. He also invites us into this relationship, teaching us to address God as “our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9). It is only through Christ’s work on the Cross that we are adopted into this family relationship (Ephesians 1:5). Some people may have a difficulty relating to God as a father, but hoping by the end of this article we would believe and know that God is “…one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:6

God the father and Us

Historically, in the Old Testament God is the Father of Israel (and Israelites are his children) in the context of God forgiving and redeeming Israel. Yet through Jesus Christ, this inheritance was extended to the gentiles, allowing us to have a relationship with our heavenly Father today. Traditionally when we think of fathers, we think of bloodline and legacy. When asked “who are you?”, my name is “Insert full name” and through that, a stranger can trace you to which household you belong to. It matters that we know that we know that God is our Father because then we know who we belong to, who to look up to and follow and who to call upon in times of need. This truth also creates a covering over us, knowing we are not orphans and have a heavenly covering on this earth. We have a full revelation of who we are, our authority and the rich inheritance we have access to!

What can hinder us from seeing God as a father

Whilst God is our Father, some may struggle to seem Him as a father because of:

  • Hurt/abandonment from biological father
  • Church hurt where priests/deacons/pastors have abused their power
  • Disappointment in life, feeling like God has forgotten them
  • Chastisement/punishment from God
  • Knowing God through lens of religion not relationship
  • Not reading the bible for ourselves

This list is not exhaustive however the points mentioned above are all potential barriers to seeing God as a Father. This being said I pray that the eyes of your heart will open and through His Word and personal encounter, you would come to know God as your Abba Father. God never intended to be distant from His children, when He created Adam and Eve, He was in the Garden of Gethsemane with them. He is and always will be “a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5

What are the implications of this as sons and daughters?

  • He gives us life (Acts 17:25; 1 Timothy 6:13).
  • He loves us (John 3:16)
  • He gives us identity (Genesis 1:26-27)
  • He protects and fights for us (Isaiah 54:17), (Exodus 14:25)
  • He rewards our efforts (Luke 6:35; Hebrews 11:6).
  • He communicates with us through His Word (John 17:17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13).
  • He allows us to communicate with Him through prayer (Matthew 6:9; Colossians 1:3).
  • He corrects us lovingly (Hebrews 12:3-11).
  • He desires to grant us the ultimate gift—eternal life in His family (Roman 6:23; Titus 1:2)—if we repent of our sins and obey Him (Acts 2:38)

Hope For The Heartbroken

Richard Adetunji
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Hope For The Heartbroken

It is surprisingly difficult to write a piece that is helpful and uplifting, yet at the same time one you hope that your readers will never need. What is more unsurprising, is that while our hopes may remain that every relationship we enter into is a fruitful and enduring one, the reality is far more aligned to the fact that relationships falter as frequent as there are stars in the sky. And of course, while they are the focus of this piece, this isn’t unique to just romantic relationships; the same can be said for long-term friendships, estranged parents and even tension between siblings. Maintaining healthy relationships requires hard work from both parties that unfortunately, for one reason or the other, it can be hard to find that ideal equilibrium between individuals.

Whether amicable or not, the breakdown of a relationship can be painful and our faith as Christians does not absolve us of this pain, nor negate our deep longing for intimacy and dependency on others. Not only that, but the reasons for this pain are far-reaching; maybe you envisioned a long future with someone, countless memories have been accrued over the years, you’ve poured out your heart in ways you haven’t done to many/any others. Maybe you’ve shared yourselves physically with each other in ways that have built familiarity and comfort in the past. That person may have become part of your very identity and of course there’s always the reality that a number of breakups are painful simply because the relationship ended badly.

Irrespective of the source of this pain, breakups and heartbreak can come with a momentous wave of disappointment that can leave us lonely, lost and questioning the goodness of God for allowing us to go through such. However, God in his infinite love and compassion for us wants you to bring all that you’re feeling to His doorstep and let Him heal your heart. Hope can be found through the encouraging words of scripture, helping us to align our focus and heal well.

So humour me as we journey through some of the recognisable pitfalls and challenges of heartbreak, laced with some of my own personal experiences and a wealth of Bible verses and resources that will help get you started on that road to recovery and wholeness. For the sake of this piece, I particularly will not be touching on experiences of divorce or estranged marriages, while the encouragement given here will definitely still be applicable, I think the uniqueness of marriage breakdowns brings a number of differing implications that I myself am not qualified to speak on.

Why Is Heartbreak So Painful?

Okay, so let’s picture it together! Your relationship has come to an end, maybe it was this morning, maybe it was two years ago, maybe more. You’re feeling an overwhelming sense of pain and confusion. This might be your first heartbreak, maybe this is a regular occurrence by now. All of us in one way or another, will be prone to react to a breakup in a number of ways, some which are healthy and constructive; others not so much. Let me outline a few common reactions I’ve seen in my life and those around me. Some of which, on the surface may seem right and even productive but if done for the wrong reasons can be detrimental and bonding.1

  1. Feeling as though you are not worthy of love and will never find love again.
    No surprises here but this knee jerk reaction to a breakup may seem all too familiar, and thankfully, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Nonetheless, in those moments, large amounts of guilt and insecurity over your breakup can leave your self esteem and confidence at an all-time low.

  2. Finding comfort in a number of different vices and uncharacteristic behaviour e.g. food, alcohol/substance abuse, salacious behaviour, pornography etc.
    Now I’ll be honest, sometimes a light beer after a stressful day does feel good. A gluttonous meal after an unpleasant experience might calm my nerves in the moment. But ultimately, when we try and find comfort in pleasure seeking it’s our mind and our bodies way of simply wanting to feel *something*. It goes without saying that this is not a sustainable coping mechanism and if left unchecked can lead to issues of addiction and be damaging to others.

  3. Relentless pursuit of improving our physical appearance and life status
    At first glance this seems like a great thing to do and an amazing way to bounce back after a breakup. Where this potentially becomes a problem is if this behaviour is driven by the need to make your ex partner feel remorseful, guilty or jealous now that the two of you are no longer together. Simply put, this is bondage to that person that is not healthy. Not only that, but it garners sub-conscious thoughts of “maybe if I were in better shape, or earned more money, or dressed better, then I’d be worthy of love”. Thoughts like these only work further to diminish our self-esteem and innate worth so that we may feel better about ourselves. Furthermore, they are a direct contradiction to all the amazing and lovable things that God says about you in scripture. 

  4. Reclusiveness
    Feeling of shame and embarrassment sometimes may drive us away from the crowd altogether. Needless to say that this is incredibly unlikely to be beneficial. Solitude allows the mind to run wild with a number of dreamt up scenarios, the dreaded ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’. While community creates the space to air out our pain and receive encouragement, support and healing in return.

We’ve only named a few common reactions to heartbreak here, this list could most certainly go on. But the common theme across the four reactions mentioned above is that none of them address the real root of the pain we face and why it is so painful.

God’s Sovereignty Grants Hope

Now for a while it may feel good to wallow in your despair. Throw a pity party, woe is me , etc., etc. I get it. For a moment, experience the tears and emotions, by all means take the time that you need, and then, respectfully, pull yourself together. In our most painful moments, it is not uncommon to cry out to God and question His goodness. One thing we must remember however is that in addition to His goodness, we also find hope in His sovereignty. This is the God that knows the end from the beginning, that knew how your life would pan out before you were being finely knitted together in your mother’s womb.2 Deep trust in Him, the God who will surely do the right thing,3 is needed to believe that the future is indeed better than the past. While I’m sure it may not feel like it in the moment, we’re reminded that in ALL things, God is causing them to work out for our good4 and that He has a plan for you5.

Yes, it’s hard to imagine that your broken heart is indeed part of God’s good plan for your life. So alongside committing yourself to spending time in prayer, worship and the word of God for strength and renewal at this time; also take the time to look back and reflect on why it is this relationship may have fallen apart. Undoubtedly, at times like this there are moments when we look through the rear view mirror of our relationships with rose tinted lenses. Our minds paint the picture that the relationship was perfect and your joy was constantly overflowing when the reality can be a very different scenario altogether. It is an invaluable experience to be able to notice the flaws in your relationship that both you and the other person may be responsible for, learn from them and go into any future relationships with renewed wisdom, hope and confidence.

Pain from a break-up can leave us feeling insecure, unattractive, unwanted, broke, you name it! This period of self-loathing starts to eat away at our self-conscious thoughts and our personal standards. Truth be told, this is a space the enemy would love us to remain in, but this identity crisis is not a fight that one has to do alone.

“But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Identity In Christ

Often times in relationships we may try and seek out many things in the other person that they were never responsible for providing in the first place. We’ve all been there, myself included. Acceptance, affirmation, security, peace, joy, value, the list goes on. These are all things that God himself has provided us with through His unconditional love and the sacrifice of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To hold someone in your life to the standard that only God himself can achieve in simple terms is idolatry, and it takes a heavily concentrated effort to pull them down from that pedestal and re-align our focus to the goodness of God and all He’s already provided.

Our true identity is never found in a relationship or significant other; but in the truth that we are God’s masterpiece6, fearfully and wonderfully made2, created in the image of God7, to do good works and loved so much that God gave His only begotten son that we may have eternal life with him.8

This detangling of our identity can be harder the longer you’ve been with somebody, maybe you even feel like God told you he/she was the one for you. The truth of the matter is that irrespective of your relationship status; your self-worth and value in God’s eyes is never tied to that of another. You are fully seen, fully known and fully loved as an individual.

There is a unique shame and embarrassment that often comes with a break-up. Whether you’re the one doing the breaking or the one broken up with, it’s rarely a pleasant experience to detail to friends and family how your seemingly loving relationship came to ruin. This instance of shame can lead us to reclusion and solitude at a time when we need companionship and support the most. Introspection is needed during any breakup, whether platonic or romantic. So take the time to put the scalpel to your heart and examine in which ways this heartache can be used to your betterment. A strong group of believers, uplifting you in prayer and communing together in love can make this all easier. I often find myself laughing over girl trouble with a good brother or two over FaceTime or accompanied by a good meal. While the content of our conversation is still relatively painful, I always leave feeling hopeful, refreshed and that little bit lighter. Allowing others to speak life into me, and I to them, leaves us both expectant of better days ahead and less shameful about the past. When your heart screams out that it just wants to be alone and your mind rages against affection; resist those urges and lean into community, for God may use the ordinary, everyday person to provide that much needed healing and encouragement.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” – Hebrews 10:25 NIV

Guard Your Heart

I’m sure as believers we’ve all heard these words time and time again: “guard your heart, guard your heart, guard your heart”, in fact, I once went to a conference based solely on these very three words. We learn through scripture that “everything you do flows through [your heart]”.9 So with that being said, the best advice I could possibly give you when navigating this journey of heartbreak is indeed to; guard your heart, guard your heart and guard your heart!

Now, on the surface, this is a lot easier said than done. At this time you probably still have a plethora of memorabilia and photos that keep you occupied during your loneliest moments. That hoodie probably still smells like him or maybe you made her your screensaver. Believe me, I get it; this is all too familiar for me too. But for the purpose of your healing, I encourage you to let it go. This will look different for everyone, maybe you’ll have to limit communication, delete some photos, unfollow on social media, donate some items of clothing to charity. Letting go may also take the form of forgiveness; pardoning someone for the disappointment or pain they may have caused you. Not because they necessarily ‘deserve it’, but to absolve your heart of the heaviness and extending that same grace we too have undeservedly received from God.10 While this sacrifice won’t be easy, it will be worth it. Sometimes our hearts cling to every ounce of hope there is, believing that maybe this is just a phase and we just need to get our lives together. Then there is my personal favourite; the beloved “maybe we’re just supposed to be friends”. And listen, maybe you are, who knows; whether you are capable of that now and can put the necessary boundaries in place is another thing.

When relationships falter amicably, this can sometimes be all the more painful. But, I encourage you that in order to heal wholly and move on, for the peace of your heart and to look ahead to everything else God is currently doing and will do in your life, guard your heart and do what needs to be done. A great Bible plan11 I recently completed, which is sited below, said it best:

“Letting go is painful because it causes you to step into the unknown again, leaving behind what is familiar and comfortable”

It is important that we forget the former things and look ahead; allowing ourselves, when the time is right, to open our hearts to love, trust and relationship again.

“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
 Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

In closing, I ask you to be kind to yourself; this will take time. Heartbreak inevitably has the ability to change us, for better or worse, depending on how we react. Don’t go looking for love in the next available person to avoid the pain of disappointment you are going through right now. As relational beings, it is our natural disposition to seek and give love to others whether platonically or romantically. Understandably so then, not being able to fulfil this inherent need hurts, and may do so for a while longer than you want it to.

Some days you may feel great and other days you feel like giving up altogether. In these moments, I urge you to cast your burdens onto Christ12, acknowledging the fact that as believers ALL things are working for your good, even when that couldn’t feel further from the truth. Understand that in him, you stand without blemish and accepted as God’s very own masterpiece. Surround yourself with people who love and cherish you, embrace all that life still has to give. Take adequate care of your physical body while also protecting the inner-most dwellings of your heart. Be encouraged that God empathises with your pain, and that you remain fully seen, fully known and fully loved in His eyes.

Even through this pain and disappointment, there is eternal joy and peace to be found in the nearness and relationship with God through Jesus Christ. He’s here to walk with you every step of the way through your heartbreak. Through the good, the bad and the ugly; He is a God that will never leave nor forsake you.

References:

1 Biblical Hope for Heartbreak, Desiring God – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk_uj7oJ0UU

2 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139: 13-14 NIV

3 “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” – Genesis 18:25b NIV

4 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 NIV

5 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

6 “For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]” – Ephesians 2:10 AMP

7 “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’” – Genesis 1:26 NIV

8 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” – John 3:16 NIV

9 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 NIV

10 The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant – Matthew 18:21-35

11 Breaking free after a break-up Bible plan – https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/11426-breaking-free-after-a-breakup

12 “Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].” – 1 Peter 5:7 AMP

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” – Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Why You Must Wrestle With God’s Word

Chude Obuaya
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Why You Must Wrestle With God’s Word

Growing up as a child in Sunday school I used to sing “read your bible pray every day if you want to grow”. Perhaps, you sang this too if you had a similar church experience to mine. Those few words that we may not have fully appreciated then, hold precious truths that we would do well to heed now. The goal of the Christian life is to grow into maturity (Ephesians 4:13) and the Bible declares that we grow as we gain in the knowledge of Christ (1 Peter 2:2; 2 Peter 3:18). How do we attain the knowledge of Christ? Through His word, by His Spirit (John 6:63). But this isn’t always simple. The Bible is a big book, with many difficult passages to digest. It is easy to gloss over the uncomfortable parts or completely dismiss them. But if all Scripture is profitable (2 Timothy 3:16), shouldn’t we sit with all of Scripture; even the parts that we find most uncomfortable? In an age where answers are just a google away, it can be tempting to turn to the internet instead of the Scriptures. But what would happen if instead of closing our Bible when we don’t understand, we wrestled with the text?

Be Patient

We all want to understand. Whether we are watching a documentary or reading a crime novel, we want to understand. Understanding is part of the consumer experience and heightens the enjoyment of whatever we are participating in. We live in a world where answers are easy to find and if we can’t find the answers we can just move on. This same attitude is then used when engaging with the Bible. We come to God’s word expecting quick answers to our biggest questions and when those answers don’t arrive, we close our Bibles and move on to something else. In a world that may reward our impatience, God’s word does not. Part of the frustration of the Christian life is that maturity takes time. There are no shortcuts to maturity. Perhaps that’s how the fruit of patience is cultivated within us? Maybe those texts that we don’t immediately understand or those verses that trouble our hearts are to drive us to pray, “Open my eyes so that I may contemplate wondrous things from your instruction” (Psalm 119:18).

On a Personal Note

For those struggling to spend concerted time in the Scriptures or are battling a verse that is troubling your mind, I understand. Earlier in my Christian walk, I struggled with the idea of suffering. No matter how many blogs I read, sermons I listened to or people I spoke to, I couldn’t understand why God would allow people to suffer. I encountered several good answers that would satisfy my question temporarily but ultimately, I was back to square one. Now, we need good answers to respond to our most pertinent questions but if we see the Bible as merely a tool to for Q&A, we miss the deep riches that are available for us daily. One of my favourite podcasts ‘Windows & Mirrors’ describes the Bible as this, “The Bible is a window not a mirror. We look to it, to see through it and see God and not look at primarily to see ourselves”. In other words, we don’t read the Bible to try to understand ourselves or our world more, but to know God! Then as we begin to know God more, everything else will begin to make sense. So, if you’re struggling to engage with the Bible, my encouragement to you is to keep going. Because wrestling with the text is more than just trying to find answers to your questions, it’s a war against everything that wishes to tell you that there is something out there better than God.

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