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How to Approach Online Dating as a Christian

Oluwaseyi Sobogun
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How to Approach Online Dating as a Christian

We are always talking about it – dating. It seems everyone is doing this. If you have ever been curious about online dating but are not sure how to go about it, this article might offer some guidance. Online dating can be used by Christians, and there are dating sites and applications specifically designed to help Christians find each other. A few of us have considered this as an option however, we are unsure how to approach it. Hopefully, this article opens the discussion to the possibilities of online dating for the Christian.

3 Reasons Why

The first question we would usually ask is should we even use online dating as a Christian. Many have argued that it is taking control out of God’s hand and going ahead of Him. However, here are possible reasons why many have chosen to use this as their route to a relationship or marriage.

  1. Convenience – When time is limited, this could be more convenient to find someone suitable Less time is used to meet new people. It is accessible anywhere and everywhere with phone applications.
  2. Availability of choice – Online dating allows an opening to engage with potentials from all over the world. The networks and variety are as vast as the app allows. We can meet people who are different from our usual choice.
  3. Intentionality – A large majority of these apps allow the user to filter down their selection to people seeking the same type of relationship. Additionally, the user can post what they are looking for on their page, creating more intentional interactions.

Purpose & Priorities

When online dating, we can be very purposeful in our approach. We can do this by setting out our priorities before we decide to download an app. What are we looking for? A Christian. This is more than someone who ticks Christian in their bio, we need to seek people who genuinely believe in Jesus. Not only that, but those whom we are also compatible with.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14

Even two ox yoked together can pull in different directions if they are not compatible. We should look for alignment of visions, goals and expectations as well as a fervent faith. Are we going in the same direction and can our lives merge? Do our visions for marriage align? A Christian actively seeking other Christians will make an effort to be as open as possible about their faith on their page. Use the filters to reduce unnecessary conversations and save time.

Additionally, instead of trying a multitude of dating apps at the same time, focus on one app for a time. Assess the choices available and choose what is most suitable for you. As a Christian, an app where the chances of meeting a like-minded Christian is higher should be the most appropriate choice. Ask the advice of friends or others from your community who have used dating apps.

Hands pointing at a Laptop

Active accountability

This is a crucial part of approaching online dating in a healthy and open way. Do not do it in isolation or secretly. Let someone know you are on the app, discuss with them any potential and seek their advice whenever possible. People have been known to hide their use of online dating as a secret when it should not be. We are children of light, not darkness. God sees our actions and knows our heart’s intent (Psalm 139:1).

For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light

Luke 8:17

Ultimately, we should pray about our choices, looking for discernment and guidance from the Holy Spirit but equally our friends and family members can offer us advice. They see who we are, know what we are about and desire the best for us.

On an online dating app, it is more likely the person is single, yet it is not always guaranteed. There are benefits of shared counsel. It can help us to avoid disappointment and heartbreak if extra reconnaissance is done from our support systems. Every believer should be plugged into a local church; this provides further accountability for both individuals.

Patient Pursuit

All types of dating require patience and time. Online dating does offer a more speedy process. If we see someone we find attractive and desire to know more, we send them a like. If they don’t respond, it typically means interest is not reciprocated. On the other hand, if we match then we are at least assured there is initial mutual interest. Then we can both move on to find out more about the other through conversation and possibly outings. It is quick and can happen in less than a day or week.

The danger of this method is how swiftly we can find ourselves swiping on every person we find attractive. I urge us to take time as we would in another scenario. Patiently read through the profile, all information provided and ensure this is a person we would like to know more about. If we change our minds, kindly communicate that to the person. We should love with affection, tenderness and graciously (Ephesians 5:32).

The world is changing. We are more used to interacting and even meeting people through online platforms and social media. Although the desire for marriage will remain, we can choose different routes to reach it. Online dating is another possible option to meet Christian people interested in a romantic relationship.

Why Does It Matter That God Is Our Father?

Chinedu Agwu
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Why Does It Matter That God Is Our Father?

“Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” (Galations 4:6-7). God presents himself as a father. During the Old Testament, this was a new way for the Jews at the time time to address their all-powerful and all-knowing God. While Old Testament writers sometimes described God using qualities of earthly fathers and mothers, Jesus referred to God using more informal, intimate language. He also invites us into this relationship, teaching us to address God as “our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9). It is only through Christ’s work on the Cross that we are adopted into this family relationship (Ephesians 1:5). Some people may have a difficulty relating to God as a father, but hoping by the end of this article we would believe and know that God is “…one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:6

God the father and Us

Historically, in the Old Testament God is the Father of Israel (and Israelites are his children) in the context of God forgiving and redeeming Israel. Yet through Jesus Christ, this inheritance was extended to the gentiles, allowing us to have a relationship with our heavenly Father today. Traditionally when we think of fathers, we think of bloodline and legacy. When asked “who are you?”, my name is “Insert full name” and through that, a stranger can trace you to which household you belong to. It matters that we know that we know that God is our Father because then we know who we belong to, who to look up to and follow and who to call upon in times of need. This truth also creates a covering over us, knowing we are not orphans and have a heavenly covering on this earth. We have a full revelation of who we are, our authority and the rich inheritance we have access to!

What can hinder us from seeing God as a father

Whilst God is our Father, some may struggle to seem Him as a father because of:

  • Hurt/abandonment from biological father
  • Church hurt where priests/deacons/pastors have abused their power
  • Disappointment in life, feeling like God has forgotten them
  • Chastisement/punishment from God
  • Knowing God through lens of religion not relationship
  • Not reading the bible for ourselves

This list is not exhaustive however the points mentioned above are all potential barriers to seeing God as a Father. This being said I pray that the eyes of your heart will open and through His Word and personal encounter, you would come to know God as your Abba Father. God never intended to be distant from His children, when He created Adam and Eve, He was in the Garden of Gethsemane with them. He is and always will be “a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5

What are the implications of this as sons and daughters?

  • He gives us life (Acts 17:25; 1 Timothy 6:13).
  • He loves us (John 3:16)
  • He gives us identity (Genesis 1:26-27)
  • He protects and fights for us (Isaiah 54:17), (Exodus 14:25)
  • He rewards our efforts (Luke 6:35; Hebrews 11:6).
  • He communicates with us through His Word (John 17:17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13).
  • He allows us to communicate with Him through prayer (Matthew 6:9; Colossians 1:3).
  • He corrects us lovingly (Hebrews 12:3-11).
  • He desires to grant us the ultimate gift—eternal life in His family (Roman 6:23; Titus 1:2)—if we repent of our sins and obey Him (Acts 2:38)

Hope For The Heartbroken

Richard Adetunji
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Hope For The Heartbroken

It is surprisingly difficult to write a piece that is helpful and uplifting, yet at the same time one you hope that your readers will never need. What is more unsurprising, is that while our hopes may remain that every relationship we enter into is a fruitful and enduring one, the reality is far more aligned to the fact that relationships falter as frequent as there are stars in the sky. And of course, while they are the focus of this piece, this isn’t unique to just romantic relationships; the same can be said for long-term friendships, estranged parents and even tension between siblings. Maintaining healthy relationships requires hard work from both parties that unfortunately, for one reason or the other, it can be hard to find that ideal equilibrium between individuals.

Whether amicable or not, the breakdown of a relationship can be painful and our faith as Christians does not absolve us of this pain, nor negate our deep longing for intimacy and dependency on others. Not only that, but the reasons for this pain are far-reaching; maybe you envisioned a long future with someone, countless memories have been accrued over the years, you’ve poured out your heart in ways you haven’t done to many/any others. Maybe you’ve shared yourselves physically with each other in ways that have built familiarity and comfort in the past. That person may have become part of your very identity and of course there’s always the reality that a number of breakups are painful simply because the relationship ended badly.

Irrespective of the source of this pain, breakups and heartbreak can come with a momentous wave of disappointment that can leave us lonely, lost and questioning the goodness of God for allowing us to go through such. However, God in his infinite love and compassion for us wants you to bring all that you’re feeling to His doorstep and let Him heal your heart. Hope can be found through the encouraging words of scripture, helping us to align our focus and heal well.

So humour me as we journey through some of the recognisable pitfalls and challenges of heartbreak, laced with some of my own personal experiences and a wealth of Bible verses and resources that will help get you started on that road to recovery and wholeness. For the sake of this piece, I particularly will not be touching on experiences of divorce or estranged marriages, while the encouragement given here will definitely still be applicable, I think the uniqueness of marriage breakdowns brings a number of differing implications that I myself am not qualified to speak on.

Why Is Heartbreak So Painful?

Okay, so let’s picture it together! Your relationship has come to an end, maybe it was this morning, maybe it was two years ago, maybe more. You’re feeling an overwhelming sense of pain and confusion. This might be your first heartbreak, maybe this is a regular occurrence by now. All of us in one way or another, will be prone to react to a breakup in a number of ways, some which are healthy and constructive; others not so much. Let me outline a few common reactions I’ve seen in my life and those around me. Some of which, on the surface may seem right and even productive but if done for the wrong reasons can be detrimental and bonding.1

  1. Feeling as though you are not worthy of love and will never find love again.
    No surprises here but this knee jerk reaction to a breakup may seem all too familiar, and thankfully, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Nonetheless, in those moments, large amounts of guilt and insecurity over your breakup can leave your self esteem and confidence at an all-time low.

  2. Finding comfort in a number of different vices and uncharacteristic behaviour e.g. food, alcohol/substance abuse, salacious behaviour, pornography etc.
    Now I’ll be honest, sometimes a light beer after a stressful day does feel good. A gluttonous meal after an unpleasant experience might calm my nerves in the moment. But ultimately, when we try and find comfort in pleasure seeking it’s our mind and our bodies way of simply wanting to feel *something*. It goes without saying that this is not a sustainable coping mechanism and if left unchecked can lead to issues of addiction and be damaging to others.

  3. Relentless pursuit of improving our physical appearance and life status
    At first glance this seems like a great thing to do and an amazing way to bounce back after a breakup. Where this potentially becomes a problem is if this behaviour is driven by the need to make your ex partner feel remorseful, guilty or jealous now that the two of you are no longer together. Simply put, this is bondage to that person that is not healthy. Not only that, but it garners sub-conscious thoughts of “maybe if I were in better shape, or earned more money, or dressed better, then I’d be worthy of love”. Thoughts like these only work further to diminish our self-esteem and innate worth so that we may feel better about ourselves. Furthermore, they are a direct contradiction to all the amazing and lovable things that God says about you in scripture. 

  4. Reclusiveness
    Feeling of shame and embarrassment sometimes may drive us away from the crowd altogether. Needless to say that this is incredibly unlikely to be beneficial. Solitude allows the mind to run wild with a number of dreamt up scenarios, the dreaded ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’. While community creates the space to air out our pain and receive encouragement, support and healing in return.

We’ve only named a few common reactions to heartbreak here, this list could most certainly go on. But the common theme across the four reactions mentioned above is that none of them address the real root of the pain we face and why it is so painful.

God’s Sovereignty Grants Hope

Now for a while it may feel good to wallow in your despair. Throw a pity party, woe is me , etc., etc. I get it. For a moment, experience the tears and emotions, by all means take the time that you need, and then, respectfully, pull yourself together. In our most painful moments, it is not uncommon to cry out to God and question His goodness. One thing we must remember however is that in addition to His goodness, we also find hope in His sovereignty. This is the God that knows the end from the beginning, that knew how your life would pan out before you were being finely knitted together in your mother’s womb.2 Deep trust in Him, the God who will surely do the right thing,3 is needed to believe that the future is indeed better than the past. While I’m sure it may not feel like it in the moment, we’re reminded that in ALL things, God is causing them to work out for our good4 and that He has a plan for you5.

Yes, it’s hard to imagine that your broken heart is indeed part of God’s good plan for your life. So alongside committing yourself to spending time in prayer, worship and the word of God for strength and renewal at this time; also take the time to look back and reflect on why it is this relationship may have fallen apart. Undoubtedly, at times like this there are moments when we look through the rear view mirror of our relationships with rose tinted lenses. Our minds paint the picture that the relationship was perfect and your joy was constantly overflowing when the reality can be a very different scenario altogether. It is an invaluable experience to be able to notice the flaws in your relationship that both you and the other person may be responsible for, learn from them and go into any future relationships with renewed wisdom, hope and confidence.

Pain from a break-up can leave us feeling insecure, unattractive, unwanted, broke, you name it! This period of self-loathing starts to eat away at our self-conscious thoughts and our personal standards. Truth be told, this is a space the enemy would love us to remain in, but this identity crisis is not a fight that one has to do alone.

“But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Identity In Christ

Often times in relationships we may try and seek out many things in the other person that they were never responsible for providing in the first place. We’ve all been there, myself included. Acceptance, affirmation, security, peace, joy, value, the list goes on. These are all things that God himself has provided us with through His unconditional love and the sacrifice of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To hold someone in your life to the standard that only God himself can achieve in simple terms is idolatry, and it takes a heavily concentrated effort to pull them down from that pedestal and re-align our focus to the goodness of God and all He’s already provided.

Our true identity is never found in a relationship or significant other; but in the truth that we are God’s masterpiece6, fearfully and wonderfully made2, created in the image of God7, to do good works and loved so much that God gave His only begotten son that we may have eternal life with him.8

This detangling of our identity can be harder the longer you’ve been with somebody, maybe you even feel like God told you he/she was the one for you. The truth of the matter is that irrespective of your relationship status; your self-worth and value in God’s eyes is never tied to that of another. You are fully seen, fully known and fully loved as an individual.

There is a unique shame and embarrassment that often comes with a break-up. Whether you’re the one doing the breaking or the one broken up with, it’s rarely a pleasant experience to detail to friends and family how your seemingly loving relationship came to ruin. This instance of shame can lead us to reclusion and solitude at a time when we need companionship and support the most. Introspection is needed during any breakup, whether platonic or romantic. So take the time to put the scalpel to your heart and examine in which ways this heartache can be used to your betterment. A strong group of believers, uplifting you in prayer and communing together in love can make this all easier. I often find myself laughing over girl trouble with a good brother or two over FaceTime or accompanied by a good meal. While the content of our conversation is still relatively painful, I always leave feeling hopeful, refreshed and that little bit lighter. Allowing others to speak life into me, and I to them, leaves us both expectant of better days ahead and less shameful about the past. When your heart screams out that it just wants to be alone and your mind rages against affection; resist those urges and lean into community, for God may use the ordinary, everyday person to provide that much needed healing and encouragement.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” – Hebrews 10:25 NIV

Guard Your Heart

I’m sure as believers we’ve all heard these words time and time again: “guard your heart, guard your heart, guard your heart”, in fact, I once went to a conference based solely on these very three words. We learn through scripture that “everything you do flows through [your heart]”.9 So with that being said, the best advice I could possibly give you when navigating this journey of heartbreak is indeed to; guard your heart, guard your heart and guard your heart!

Now, on the surface, this is a lot easier said than done. At this time you probably still have a plethora of memorabilia and photos that keep you occupied during your loneliest moments. That hoodie probably still smells like him or maybe you made her your screensaver. Believe me, I get it; this is all too familiar for me too. But for the purpose of your healing, I encourage you to let it go. This will look different for everyone, maybe you’ll have to limit communication, delete some photos, unfollow on social media, donate some items of clothing to charity. Letting go may also take the form of forgiveness; pardoning someone for the disappointment or pain they may have caused you. Not because they necessarily ‘deserve it’, but to absolve your heart of the heaviness and extending that same grace we too have undeservedly received from God.10 While this sacrifice won’t be easy, it will be worth it. Sometimes our hearts cling to every ounce of hope there is, believing that maybe this is just a phase and we just need to get our lives together. Then there is my personal favourite; the beloved “maybe we’re just supposed to be friends”. And listen, maybe you are, who knows; whether you are capable of that now and can put the necessary boundaries in place is another thing.

When relationships falter amicably, this can sometimes be all the more painful. But, I encourage you that in order to heal wholly and move on, for the peace of your heart and to look ahead to everything else God is currently doing and will do in your life, guard your heart and do what needs to be done. A great Bible plan11 I recently completed, which is sited below, said it best:

“Letting go is painful because it causes you to step into the unknown again, leaving behind what is familiar and comfortable”

It is important that we forget the former things and look ahead; allowing ourselves, when the time is right, to open our hearts to love, trust and relationship again.

“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
 Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

In closing, I ask you to be kind to yourself; this will take time. Heartbreak inevitably has the ability to change us, for better or worse, depending on how we react. Don’t go looking for love in the next available person to avoid the pain of disappointment you are going through right now. As relational beings, it is our natural disposition to seek and give love to others whether platonically or romantically. Understandably so then, not being able to fulfil this inherent need hurts, and may do so for a while longer than you want it to.

Some days you may feel great and other days you feel like giving up altogether. In these moments, I urge you to cast your burdens onto Christ12, acknowledging the fact that as believers ALL things are working for your good, even when that couldn’t feel further from the truth. Understand that in him, you stand without blemish and accepted as God’s very own masterpiece. Surround yourself with people who love and cherish you, embrace all that life still has to give. Take adequate care of your physical body while also protecting the inner-most dwellings of your heart. Be encouraged that God empathises with your pain, and that you remain fully seen, fully known and fully loved in His eyes.

Even through this pain and disappointment, there is eternal joy and peace to be found in the nearness and relationship with God through Jesus Christ. He’s here to walk with you every step of the way through your heartbreak. Through the good, the bad and the ugly; He is a God that will never leave nor forsake you.

References:

1 Biblical Hope for Heartbreak, Desiring God – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk_uj7oJ0UU

2 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139: 13-14 NIV

3 “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” – Genesis 18:25b NIV

4 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 NIV

5 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

6 “For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]” – Ephesians 2:10 AMP

7 “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’” – Genesis 1:26 NIV

8 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” – John 3:16 NIV

9 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 NIV

10 The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant – Matthew 18:21-35

11 Breaking free after a break-up Bible plan – https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/11426-breaking-free-after-a-breakup

12 “Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].” – 1 Peter 5:7 AMP

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” – Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Why You Must Wrestle With God’s Word

Chude Obuaya
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Why You Must Wrestle With God’s Word

Growing up as a child in Sunday school I used to sing “read your bible pray every day if you want to grow”. Perhaps, you sang this too if you had a similar church experience to mine. Those few words that we may not have fully appreciated then, hold precious truths that we would do well to heed now. The goal of the Christian life is to grow into maturity (Ephesians 4:13) and the Bible declares that we grow as we gain in the knowledge of Christ (1 Peter 2:2; 2 Peter 3:18). How do we attain the knowledge of Christ? Through His word, by His Spirit (John 6:63). But this isn’t always simple. The Bible is a big book, with many difficult passages to digest. It is easy to gloss over the uncomfortable parts or completely dismiss them. But if all Scripture is profitable (2 Timothy 3:16), shouldn’t we sit with all of Scripture; even the parts that we find most uncomfortable? In an age where answers are just a google away, it can be tempting to turn to the internet instead of the Scriptures. But what would happen if instead of closing our Bible when we don’t understand, we wrestled with the text?

Be Patient

We all want to understand. Whether we are watching a documentary or reading a crime novel, we want to understand. Understanding is part of the consumer experience and heightens the enjoyment of whatever we are participating in. We live in a world where answers are easy to find and if we can’t find the answers we can just move on. This same attitude is then used when engaging with the Bible. We come to God’s word expecting quick answers to our biggest questions and when those answers don’t arrive, we close our Bibles and move on to something else. In a world that may reward our impatience, God’s word does not. Part of the frustration of the Christian life is that maturity takes time. There are no shortcuts to maturity. Perhaps that’s how the fruit of patience is cultivated within us? Maybe those texts that we don’t immediately understand or those verses that trouble our hearts are to drive us to pray, “Open my eyes so that I may contemplate wondrous things from your instruction” (Psalm 119:18).

On a Personal Note

For those struggling to spend concerted time in the Scriptures or are battling a verse that is troubling your mind, I understand. Earlier in my Christian walk, I struggled with the idea of suffering. No matter how many blogs I read, sermons I listened to or people I spoke to, I couldn’t understand why God would allow people to suffer. I encountered several good answers that would satisfy my question temporarily but ultimately, I was back to square one. Now, we need good answers to respond to our most pertinent questions but if we see the Bible as merely a tool to for Q&A, we miss the deep riches that are available for us daily. One of my favourite podcasts ‘Windows & Mirrors’ describes the Bible as this, “The Bible is a window not a mirror. We look to it, to see through it and see God and not look at primarily to see ourselves”. In other words, we don’t read the Bible to try to understand ourselves or our world more, but to know God! Then as we begin to know God more, everything else will begin to make sense. So, if you’re struggling to engage with the Bible, my encouragement to you is to keep going. Because wrestling with the text is more than just trying to find answers to your questions, it’s a war against everything that wishes to tell you that there is something out there better than God.

Standing Firm in the Face of Temptation

Shumi Mararike
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Standing Firm in the Face of Temptation

Facing tests and temptations is part of being human. When confronted with temptation, we can either submit or resist. Which of these will you choose? As a Christians, we are called to do the latter. God has given us the means by which we may conquer rather than fold. So how do we overcome them?

Temptation Will Come

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.

1 Corinthians 10:13a

As surely as the sun will rise today, you will be tempted before it sets. The same word is used for ‘temptation’ and ‘test’ in the original language; they are used interchangeably (1 Corinthians 10:10 and 1 Corinthians 10:13). Therefore, they take various forms such as the desire to exercise greed, pride, lust and the like (1 John 2:16). They also entail trials and suffering that may cause you to doubt God’s provision, uncertain that He can or will meet your needs (1 Corinthians 10:1—10; Exodus 17:2-7). These are not unique to you, but are experienced by all human beings. The bottom line is this: temptation and tests will come. By anticipating them, you can be on guard and refuse to give in. You can refuse to allow them to make you doubt God and draw you away from Him.

God is Faithful

And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear

1 Corinthians 10:13b

God’s faithfulness is the grounds for confidence that you can overcome temptation. He is sovereign over what comes into your life. Hence, the tests He may allow you to face are not beyond your ability to deal with. This is not because of your own strength, but because of the grace and strength He supplies to you in His devotion toward you. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10; 1 Pet 5:10; Philippians 4:13). God is not just committed to saving you, but to sanctifying you completely (1 Thessalonians 5:23), making you more like Jesus by the power of His Spirit (Romans 8:29; 2 Thessalonians 2:13) and preserving you to the end (Philippians 1:6; 1 Corinthians 1:8-9; Romans 8:30). Because He is faithful, He will sustain you in and through all tests and temptations. You will not be tempted beyond what you can bear. Even if you fall into sin, temptation will not be the end of you.

God provides a way of escape

But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13c

Remember, temptation will come. It is inevitable. Therefore, the ‘escape’ or ‘the way out’ does not mean exemption. But it does mean endurance. Consider what God is doing in you and through you as you are being tested. From the tests, endurance is birthed and maturity is developed (James 1:2-4). He is working inside you as you put your faith into practice (Philippians 2:12-13). God is supplying you with all the nutrients you need to stand strong amidst temptation so that you may praise God when tested like Job, rather than curse Him and sin (Job 1: 20-22; 2:9-10). God is enabling you to trust Him in times of lack unlike the Israelites who hungered, thirsted and grumbled in the wilderness (Exodus 15:22-24; 16:1-3). He gives grace and the strength available in Christ (Philippians 4:13).

Very soon, you will meet again with your old foes – tests and temptations. Before you do, anticipate them so that you can stand your ground. Decide to resist it and submit to God, knowing that He is faithful to preserve as you fight. Lastly, remember that there is a way out – endurance through the grace and strength He supplies.

Sharing The Gospel In The Age of Apathy

Chude Obuaya
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Sharing The Gospel In The Age of Apathy

When was the last time you evangelised? What comes into your mind when evangelism is suggested by your church? Do you feel the urge to evangelise? To rephrase a popular statement made by A.W. Tozer, what comes into your mind when evangelism is discussed? In a world where sensitivity is at an all time high, evangelism is considered to be an intrusion on a person’s freedom to believe what they choose. In the West it’s becoming increasingly unpopular to proselytise and Christians are having to find innovative ways to share their faith, lest their accused of being intolerant. There are appears to be many obstacles to evangelism, how do we overcome them so the world may know that Jesus was sent for them (John 3:16; 17:23).

Disciples, Not Decisions


Before Jesus ascended, He commissioned his disciples to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, baptise them and teach them to observe all that God has commanded (Matthew 28:19-20). Whilst evangelism is at least preaching the gospel, it’s not only preaching the gospel. To avoid the necessary follow-up often required when doing evangelism, we can settle for leaving a track or just shouting in the town square, hoping that the gospel seed lands on fertile ground (Mark 4:1-20). Has this method of evangelism fanned the flames of apathy? How we evangelise should be fueled by why we evangelise. When we proclaim the gospel we aren’t just throwing good news into the atmosphere and hoping it materialises into something useful. Instead we are inviting people to be transformed by the good news that Jesus Christ came to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). One the day of Pentecost, Peter declared the gospel t (Acts 2:14-36), called the people to repentance (Acts 2:37-41) and then committed to discipling the saints. Preaching the gospel should not be discouraged, after all how will they know unless they hear? (Romans 10:14). However, we don’t just want people to hear, but to know, believe and obey God.

Harvest And Labourers

Everyone needs the gospel. The world is under sin due to our parents Adam and Eve (Genesis 3) and as a result all people live in rebellion to God (Romans 3:9-12). The world needs to know that due to sin they are eternally separated from God. There is nothing that they can do to clear the debt that they have accrued (Romans 3:20). They need God. They need God, in the person of Jesus, to live for them, die for them, raise for them and ascend for them (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). They need to know their sins can be forgiven, they can be righteous, they can be changed and they can be loved (2 Corinthians 5:17-19). Jesus states that the problem isn’t the harvest but the labourers (Matthew 9:37-38). In other words, the issue isn’t whether there are people that need to hear but whether there are willing people to proclaim. The temptation for churches may be to spur their congregants up to go out and evangelise within their city, but that’s not the solution that Jesus gives. Jesus says we ought to pray that the Lord of the harvest will send out workers into His harvest. God is sovereign over His harvest. Therefore, the most important factor for evangelism is not willing labourers but the Lord of the harvest. Before we embark on proclaiming the gospel, let’s realise that it is the Lord’s efforts not our own that will make disciples out of all nations.

Sharing the Gospel in a Post-Modern Society

Ayo Stephen
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Sharing the Gospel in a Post-Modern Society

Have you ever heard someone say “that rule was only for that time” or “I agree with this verse but not that” or even the famous saying “this is my truth and what I believe is right” in regards to faith. This is post-modernism – simply put it is a worldview with no absolute truth, subjective and dependent on the individual. Jesus came to deliver a singular truth and tasked us with delivering such truth to all nations. So how can we accomplish this task when society prefers otherwise?

How are you presenting yourself?

You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn-bushes or figs from thistles?

Matthew 7:16

Presentation is key in evangelism, not only outwardly but inwardly also. To share the gospel to a post-modern society, you need to show a respect and genuine interest in their viewpoint, their lives and where they are coming from. You may not necessarily agree with what they say, but not disregarding their beliefs and why they believe such “truths” will aid in building a relationship that will help you in sharing the gospel. We must try not to correct their misunderstandings from the get-go, or have any changes in our demeanour when listening to them. We must try to wholeheartedly listen and intake why they believe their truths. Additionally, we must try not to be heated, loud or argumentative – we must learn to show grace because once we were also like them, blind to the truth Christ freely came to offer (Eph 2:3). We must demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit [Gal 5:22-23], including gentleness and patience, because in this way shall people know we are of Christ – and this alone can minister to them [Mt 17:15-20].

Ask thought-provoking questions

After creating a relationship, engage by asking thought provoking questions to understand why they think what they think. This may also force them to think about why their “truth” is what they think it is. This is not to say we should ask questions in a condescending manner, but in one that breeds a civil conversation. Questions could include:

  • Where are you on your spiritual journey
  • What do you understand about Christianity?
  • Do you ever think about life after death?

These questions are effective in continuing to build a relationship without seeming overcritical. Furthermore, look for areas of agreement. This can aid you in being less critical of their viewpoint and more interested. It can also make one feel like they are not being looked down upon. All these things will help in creating a space where both parties are calm and open to a conversation that can often come with hostility.

Using the Living Word

Sanctify them by the truth; your Word is truth

John 17:17

Ultimately, our truth comes from the Word of God, the Bible. Therefore, we can not proclaim truth without directing people to the Bible. As much as we should be respectful of their views, we must also show that we do not necessarily agree with all of them. We do not have to water-down the truth (Jn 17:17) nor do we have to talk in eloquent words disguised as the Word of God (1 Cor 2:4-5), however the truth must be displayed. We must try not to be caught in the trap of purely listening and not providing anything fruitful to the conversation. With respect, we should strive to speak our beliefs, even if it may disregard theirs, providing our foundation as the Word of God. Furthermore, we should encourage them in reading or researching about the Bible, offering up to them the Word of God. It is vital that they understand that Christianity is based on absolute truth that cannot be shaken and this is the difference between simply being ‘spiritual’ and being a Christian.

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.

Zechariah 4:6

At the end of the day, we are not the ones who soften the hearts of the people, for God in His all-knowing might chooses whose heart He wants (Romans 9:14). We merely are to deliver the Word of God, to sow the seed and water the plant whilst God enables it to flourish (1 Cor 3:6-9). We must pray for the help of the Holy Spirit in this situation, to guide and help us to be able to deliver God’s Word fruitfully, because it is not by our power, nor our might, but only by the Spirit can mountains fade (Zechariah 4:6). Trust Him to do just that.

Is Your Faith Fickle?

Emmanuel Oganla
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Is Your Faith Fickle?

Faith is something that the biblical authors urge believers to base their lives upon. Romans1:17, Habakkuk 2:4, Galatians 3:11 and Hebrews 10 all have this phrase in common ‘the just shall live by faith’. The multiplicity of this phrase within Scripture highlights its importance. Therefore, deciphering between fickle and authentic faith which the bible illustrates through the examples of Children of Israel in the First Testament and disciples in the second is vital. This article will help with deciphering the different types of faith exhibited by followers of God throughout history.

Children of Israel vs Moses

A common theme with the Children of Israel is they often forgot about God after experiencing His works. Psalm 106:10-13 ‘He saved them from the hand of him who hated them and redeemed them from the hand of their enemy. The waters covered their enemies; there was none left of them. Then they believed his words; they sang his praise. They soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel’ The 23rd verse records ‘Therefore he said that he would destroy them had not Moses his chosen one stood before them in the breach, to turn his wrath against them.’ The major contrast between Moses’ and the Israelites faith is ‘He made known His ways to Moses, his acts to the children of Israel’ (Psalm 103:7). ‘Knowing God’s acts’ is having a knowledge of God that’s based only on what he does. Whilst ‘knowing God’s ways’ is a knowledge of God that is rooted in His nature. Hold that thought, whilst we make another contrast of faith.

John vs the rest of the disciples

In john’s gospel, Jesus was given his final words to his disciples before his arrest, he said to his disciples “Do you now believe?” Jesus replied. “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my father is with me. This played out during his crucifixion as all were absent except John. I present two clues as two why this was the case: The first is John knew he was loved by Jesus, and the second is he rested his head on Jesus’ Chest. I will ask you again to hold that thought, whilst I aim to bring all the examples of faith together.

Fickle faith  

The children of Israel and the rest of the disciples alike showcased fickle faith. The children of Israel only knew His acts; therefore, their faith was circumstantial, hence why they often forgot God. If our faith in God is only based on His acts, our faith may fail when we are waiting for Him to act again. The disciple’s faith was also circumstantial and therefore fickle because it couldn’t stand against persecution. They all scattered and departed from Christ and it even took Peter to the point of denying Christ. God is redemptive, so don’t lose heart if you’ve mirrored their faith in any way.

Authentic Faith

I previously presented two clues as to why John remained with Christ, to the point I suggest that his faith was synonymous with Moses’ in that He also knew God’s way. Placing his head on Jesus’ side represents intimacy, which is how we know God. If we draw close to Christ, we will grow in intimacy with Him. This intimacy assured John of God’s love for him, which served him whilst others ran in the face of persecution. He knew God’s ways which is Love. Faith built on the intimate knowledge of God’s ways and nature is authentic and will keep and sustain us through tough times. Hence why our faith ought to be based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ as it is the ultimate expression of God’s love (John 3:16).

The Basis of Authentic Faith

Fickle faith is one that isn’t built on the intimate knowledge of God’s ways and nature namely Love. It is based on God’s acts alone or circumstances and can often lead us to forget God. But Authentic faith isn’t circumstantial. It is built on the intimate knowledge of God’s ways and nature as presented to us in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

How Can I Experience Joy In My Christian Life?

Emmanuel Oganla
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How Can I Experience Joy In My Christian Life?

A Scottish philosopher named David Hume had a theory called hedonism. The belief that all pleasure is intrinsically valuable. Whilst Hume’s theory registers all pleasures as valuable, ‘Christian Hedonism’ places the greatest value on the pleasure that is derived from God alone and beckons Christians to be not so easily pleased by lower pleasures. John Piper coined the phrase ‘Christian hedonism’, which is the idea that the goal of Christianity is to maximise pleasure in God for the purpose of God’s glory. One of Piper’s most famous quotes within the context of Christin hedonism is ‘God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him’. This article is a biblical introduction towards that Ideology.

The Path To True Joy

‘We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink, sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased’ -C S LEWIS

Hume’s theory claims that anything goes. If it brings you pleasure, it is good. But we know this is contrary to what the bible teaches. Peter admonishes the church to ‘…beware of fleshly pleasures which wage war against the soul’ (1 peter2:11). It’s important to distinguish between low destructive pleasure and high life-giving ones, which the bible helps us to do.

‘You make known to me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy and at your right-hand pleasures forever” (Psalm 16:11). The psalmist asserts that joy in its fullness (depth) and enduring pleasures (length) are in the presence of God. He connects this to knowing the path of life. We can conclude that the true path of life is experiencing the depths of joy and the lengths of pleasures that are in God. But how does it affect God’s glory?

God’s Glory In Our Pleasure And Satisfaction

God had two qualms with his people as fleshed out in the book of Jeremiah: “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jeremiah 2:11). As human beings we can relate to the pleasure and satisfaction water gives when we thirst. We also know that it keeps us alive. God’s presence is to our soul what water is to our body. Essentially, God is saying they forsook, the one who pleasures and satisfies with life for things that cannot. God saw the ‘forsaking’ and ‘hewing’ as two sins and we understand that to sin is to fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

Jesus’ encounter with the woman at the well in John’s gospel illustrates this further.

In John 4 we are introduced to a Samaritan woman who was fetching water at Jacob’s well. Jesus told her that if she drinks from that well she will thirst again (the equivalence of a broken cistern that holds no water). He also said in the 14th verse that his water will cause her to thirst no more and be a spring that wells up to eternal life.

The encounter with Christ caused her to see Him For who he is. In the 28th verse we are told that she left her waterpot, the instrument she would use to fetch the water. She had no need for the broken cistern because she encountered the flowing river of life. She went on to share Jesus because Christ fills to the point of overflow: “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:38). She glorified him by testifying about Him. Christ pleasures us and empowers us to praise and make him known.

Like the woman at the well we too have ‘worldly waters’. Things that fall short at their promise to satisfy and in turn cause us to fall short in glorifying God. Seeking the depths of joy and lengths of pleasure in the presence of God is the true path of life for the believer and our empowerment to glorify Him.

Jesus told the woman that he thirsts, but we know he didn’t really require water. His thirst was greater. When his disciples returned and urged him to eat, he said “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work” (John 4:34). The will of God is that Christ will be our pleasure and satisfaction. Christ had his food and drink when he met the need of the woman at the well. It’s the same when he meets our need.

Building An Appetite For God

Jesus and the Holy Spirit are often likened to food and water in the bible. We as human being can relate to having an appetite for food and water as previously established. Hence why we are encouraged to ‘taste and see that the Lord is good’ (Psalm 34:8). The key here is that our experience of God shapes our perception of Him. Like we experience a well-cooked meal, and we enjoy its goodness, we can experience God and enjoy His goodness as well.  One of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to reveal Christ and make Him real to us so that we can experience Him. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.  (John 16:13). This makes fellowship with the Holy Spirit crucial; it is Him our experience and enjoyment of God hinges on.

How Do We Fellowship With The Spirit?

We actively fellowship with the Spirit through prayer, worship and the book he authored, The Bible. We know the writers were moved by Him when they wrote it. We also know that He is the breath of God that inspired it (2 timothy 3:17-17). This understanding is vital because it stops Bible reading and prayer from being a mundane activity we do because we know we should as believers. It helps us to understand the power our spiritual discipline carries. No longer should we only see them as spiritual disciplines but also privileges. It’s either a burden or a privilege depending on your perspective. With this understanding, we see that we give ourselves to prayer and study of the word because it allows us to fellowship with the Holy Spirt who empowers us to experience and enjoy God’s goodness. We also experience and enjoy Jesus through fellowshipping with saints as He said, ‘where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am with them’ (Matthew 18:20)

The Holy Spirit is the presence of God with us on the earth, and His fruit is joy (Galatians 5:22), therefore joy is a hallmark of our fellowship with Him. A tree bears fruit after its own kind. Apple trees produce apples, The Holy Spirit produces joy. Therefore, true fellowship with Him should produce joy. The Holy Spirit is the deepest joy and lasting pleasure we receive from Christ to the point of overflow.

The Pleasure In Giving Yourself For Others

Sharing Jesus as well as our resources also has an hedonistic motivation. Paul, in admonishing the church to work hard to help those in need or ‘the weak’ echoed Jesus’ words in saying ‘it is more blessed to give that to receive’ (Acts 20:35). The root word of ‘blessed’ in this verse connotes happiness. Think on a time you bought a gift that meant a lot to a loved one and how good giving made you feel. Christian hedonism teaches that the believer derives great joy by giving himself for the needs of others, which is the essence of love which is what our entire faith is centred upon. Love for God and our neighbour.

Praise Is The Consummation Of Joy

We previously saw how the woman at the well, praised and glorified Jesus after her encounter with him. This is because ‘authentic joy in God will overflow with praise’ -John Piper.

We praise the restaurants, pieces of art and literature we enjoy and share it with people because of the genuineness of our enjoyment of it. In the same way our willingness to share Jesus can be an indication of the genuineness of our joy in him.

In conclusion, We must seek to experience and enjoy God, which we do by fellowship with the Holy Spirit and giving ourselves for the needs of people. We fellowship with the Holy Spirit through the bible, prayer, worship and believers. This fellowship should produce in us deep joy and lasting pleasure. This in turn should lead us to praise, share and glorify God. This is the pursuit of the Christian Hedonist.

Restore Your Joy in the Resurrection

Oluwaseyi Sobogun
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Restore Your Joy in the Resurrection

Easter is a very important day to mark in the life of a Christian. More than a bank holiday weekend or an easter egg hunt for the children, we celebrate Easter as Christians to mark the death, resurrection and ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ. And these are remarkable moments to behold. Here we will look at the two of the key days that make up the Easter holiday and how significant they are to our faith as Christians  – Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.

Why is the day Jesus died called good?

On Good Friday we commemorate the day of the crucifixion when Jesus went up to the cross and died, taking on the sins of all mankind (1 John 2:2). This was a demonstration of God’s love for us, for while we were sinners, Christ died for us (Roman s 5:8). Good Friday is the day that the death of Jesus which was meant to be a sad thing turned out to be the greatest moment for us.

Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever

1 Thessalonians 5:10

Through His death, we are saved from the consequences of our sin, which is death, (Romans 6:23) and reconciled with God through faith. When Jesus said “it is finished”, it was not the end but the conclusion of our separation from God. This is the victory we declare, of our salvation, that we are reconciled to God through the death and we are born to new life through the resurrection.

A cross on a hill during a sunrise

What does it mean to rise again?

Three days after Jesus declared this word in John 19:30 and breathed his last, He rose from the burial tomb, showing Himself to many witnesses and fulfilling the scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:4). Resurrection Sunday is all about how Christ rose from the dead and defeated the power of death (Romans 6:9). How we are free from sin, how it has no dominion over us, and how we are living freely under grace. The resurrection of Christ is principal to Christianity.

If Christ is not raised, our faith is futile and we are still in our sins

1 Corinthians 15:17

Mere man cannot rise from the dead. We are unable with our own willpower to resurrect ourselves from the dead but Christ, being fully God and man, has the power. The power that raised Christ from the dead dwells inside of us through faith (Romans 8:11). It takes faith to accept the truth of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Yet if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God has raised Him from the dead, we will be saved (Romans 10:9).

What happens next Sunday?

While we may enjoy the break from our daily routines and the lovely weather this week, may we remember the foundation of our faith. That Christ died and was resurrected. During this beautiful week, we quieten our hearts and sit with sombre thoughts but ultimately we rejoice because death is defeated and our King is alive. He has risen!

We celebrate this Easter but every day in our life is a celebration of the finished works of Jesus Christ on the cross. Easter should be a reminder to bring us back to remembrance of Him and mark the momentous moment that changed our present and future but it shouldn’t be different from every other Sunday/ Easter. Each Sunday we can remember what was done on the cross and our freedom in Christ.

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