On this weeks episode, we talk all things social media. Discussing topics such as meme culture, online ministries, cancel culture and false teaching. In the age of technology, can Christians have social media presences that speak light into a world shrouded with darkness?⠀
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Guests: Raph Olu-Jide, Sonja Lee-Barnett, Shelley Fleuridor, Arinze Okoh⠀
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“What’s wrong with Christian Twitter?”
How Can I Suffer Well in A Comfort Driven Society?
Nobody likes suffering. There are global initiatives that make it their mission to alleviate suffering. Comfort has become the mantra of the day. The message in today’s society is that anything that causes the slightest discomfort should be avoided. Worst still, this message has seeped into Christendom. Yet, the bible teaches that suffering is and will be present in this life; and is intrinsically part of the Christian life. So how can we, as Christians, suffer in such a way that shows the world, that our comfort is found in Christ alone?
How long Lord?
If you live long enough, you will encounter suffering. In this fallen world, due to sin, suffering is inevitable (John 16:33). Sometimes the suffering seems so unbearable that you are left asking the question; “how long Lord?” I’m sure that the woman with the issue of blood asked herself this same question multiple times. For those unfamiliar with the story, there was a woman who had been suffering from a discharge of blood for 12 years. She had seen many physicians to seek a cure to no avail (Mark 5:25-34). After spending all her money on these physicians, her illness grew worse. One day she encountered Jesus, and by simply touching the hem of His garment her suffering ceased immediately. Perhaps you can relate to this story? Have you been suffering for years and received no relief? Have you spent money on various solutions and been left in a worse situation than what you began with? Well, I recommend Jesus. As the woman in Mark 5 would testify, an encounter with Jesus changes everything.
A different outlook on suffering
Suffering can often be viewed with a myopic lens. In other words, suffering can be defined in such a narrow way that it minimises the experiences of a broad range of people. By definition, suffering is ‘the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship’. Therefore, suffering doesn’t just have to be stage 4 breast cancer, or your house being raided by armed robbers; it can also be continued rejected job applications or heartbreak from a relationship. There is no standardised threshold for pain. Humans are different and will respond to difficult situations differently. What people don’t need when they are suffering is for their pain to be delegitimised because “it’s not as bad as other people’s”. Whilst sobriety is necessary when engaging with someone’s suffering, what people need foremost is comfort. But what type of comfort? The kind that is worldly and seemingly idolatrous or the kind that is godly and purely divine?
Comfort from above
When suffering comes, the urge to seek refuge in comfort is not too far behind. Humans find comfort in a plethora of things, each insufficient to bear the weight of their grief. From food to sex, no created thing can deal with suffering, and such is an unfortunate consequence of sin. Only Jesus can provide the type of comfort that can swallow the gaping hole that suffering produces. And yet, knowing this, I find myself running to lesser things to produce this comfort. Do you? You see Jesus as the best person to run to when suffering arrives because He suffered as well (1 Peter 2:21).
To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
1 Peter 2:21
Jesus didn’t just suffer, He suffered for you and me. Because of our sin (our rebellion against God), we stood condemned before a holy and righteous God. But God who is rich in mercy sent His Son, Jesus, to live the perfect life for us, only to be pierced for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities that we may be healed! (Isaiah 53:5). Now, this resurrected Jesus beckons everyone to come to Him not just for mercy for their sins, but mercy for their life (Hebrews 4:16). This means when suffering comes, we aren’t alone. We have a God who will be right there with us as we experience our pain. A God who knows what we are going through and will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16
Suffer well
So how can we suffer well? We must first know that suffering isn’t the end. Nothing, not even the greatest pain in the world, can separate you from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). That each suffering moment you go through is testing your faith to produce in you a steadfastness that will result in you being made perfect and lacking nothing (James 1:2-5). That even when you suffer because of your sin, God’s hand is not too harsh to destroy you but to discipline you, thus reminding you of your sonship (Hebrews 12:7). The scriptures remind us that many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God will deliver us out of them all (Psalm 34:19). And when you pray, and the suffering just doesn’t seem to end; know you have a good Father who won’t delay long in giving you justice (Luke 18:7). Finally, whilst you wait, know you have a God who promises to comfort you through all your afflictions (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) and when God sees you through, you’ll be able to point people away from their idols and to the One who can truly give comfort through all suffering.
“Is it a problem that I only have Christian friends?”
On this week’s episode of #Onthetable, we bring to the table, friendships. God did not create us to do life alone, He put us in community, so what does the Bible say about friendships how then should we navigate our friendship circles?
Guests: George Obolo, Luke Oldfield, Susanna Clapcott, Ife Onamusi
Join the discussion online using the hashtag #onthetable
When You Don’t Have A Reason To Be Thankful
Thanksgiving is an important part of our lives as Christians. No matter what we may face, the word of God entreats us to give thanks. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
2020 has been difficult. With the epidemic, we have experienced many losses, globally, and it is understandable to have a bleak outlook on the idea of thanksgiving. However, if you are reading this today, then you have a reason to be thankful because, thankfully, you are alive.
A Reason to be thankful
Despite this traumatic year, I guarantee we can find one reason to be thankful. For one, the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8). We can be thankful for the fellowship we have with the Son and in turn with fellow believers. We are chosen, welcome into a whole new family, adopted by God (Ephesians 1:4-5), a royal carpet is rolled out for us as a royal priesthood in the Kingdom (1 Peter 2:9). And if that was not enough, when all is said and done in this life, we have eternity waiting with the King of Kings, who will come back on a white horse (Revelation 19:11). This may sound like a great story or fairytale, but this is the truest story ever, still being written. It is the story of our salvation.
A loving God, a fallen world and the price of a life on a cross to cover the sins of all mankind (Titus 2:11). A saviour to redeem us from our sinful lives and save us from death (Titus 2:14). The greatest gift we will ever receive that we did not deserve and could not work to gain.
But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
Romans 5:8
Because of the price paid on the cross by Jesus’ death, we can come into a relationship with God. Our sins are forgiven, and we have eternal life. That is a reason to be thankful. To be thankful for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, thankful that we know of His saving grace, thankful that we are able to know and receive the love God has for us.
There is no isolation, quarantine or lockdown that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). No matter how far we may have felt from Him this year, He is always here. When the Samaritan women felt cast out by all of society, one person accepted her. When she was most isolated, Jesus found her and welcomed her (Luke 4). In the midst of our trials and darkest days, God can always be found, working something for our good (Romans 8:28). For this, we can be thankful.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever
Psalm 136:1
Psalm 136 is a beautiful chapter in the bible that reminds us to be thankful to God in all instances for His mercy and loving-kindness. Here are times in life where we can be thankful:
- Thankful for every time we saw a new day in this year
- Thankful for every breath we were able to breathe
- Thankful for every time our heart would beat
- Thankful for every time we were able to see, hear, smell or taste
- Thankful for every meal we ate, every drink we drank
- Thankful for every time we went out and came back safely
These are only a few of the 10,000 reasons we can find to be thankful (Psalm 103). We must always remind ourselves that God is good. His love is unconditional. He is forever faithful, and His mercies still endure forever.
Being thankful through it all
The story is told in Luke 17:11-19 of ten lepers who were cleansed by Jesus. The only issue was that when they were cleansed, only 1 out of the 10 returned to give thanks. Jesus asked, “So where are the other nine? Weren’t there ten who were healed? They all refused to return to give thanks and give glory to God except you, a foreigner from Samaria?”. The outsider was the only one that was thankful.
Let us not be like the rest of the nine lepers. We must remember to give thanks to God this year, not only when we are blessed but in the face of our trials. The rocks cannot cry out on our behalf (Luke 19:40).
Words of thanksgiving and cursing pour out from the same mouth. My friends, this should not happen!
James 3:10
Being constantly thankful is not easy. It is a sacrifice. To look not at our situation but at God, to say no to self-pity and yes to hope. As followers of Christ, we are to overflow with thanksgiving. “Therefore, as [we] have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live [our] lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in faith as [we] were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6-7).
We might not have our usual extensive highlight reel to display at the end of the year, but we have a moment now to appreciate and be thankful we are still here. If you count the number of times the word thankful is used in this article, it is 25; as many days that are left in the year (when this is published). The emphasis is to provide an incentive to be thankful every day for the rest of 2020.
Project 1000
We need your help.
We are a charity fully funded by grants and donations, meaning we rely on the generosity of you and everyone who comes across our charity. We typically try and raise money at various times of the year, but we believe there’s a more efficient way of raising funds that can make the work we do sustainable and also make it easier to partner with us in a more manageable way.
Consequently, we are launching “Project 1000”. This is a campaign where we are aiming to get 1000 people to donate at least £2 per month. To some people, this may seem like nothing but this helps us with our mission of sharing the gospel and teaching others to share the gospel. Your £2 can aid us with sharing more articles, train more missionaries, host retreats and facilitate thought provoking events.
Partner with us on this journey of taking the gospel further and be blessed as you do so.
Are you an ‘Armchair’ Christian?
We all know an armchair pundit. Those who continuously yell at the TV when their favourite football team is playing, calling every play and foul, have all the knowledge in the world about football itself but have little to no experience in actually playing the sport. I think in a similar way, a lot of us are armchair Christians. Who, from the comfort of the sidelines, judge every play, call out every false teaching, debate relentlessly online, critique every sermon but when it comes to getting involved in the game, they care little about ministry, discipleship, missions, the Church and delighting in the Gospel. I think that a lot of us (myself included), have fallen in love with defending, discussing and debating the truth of the Gospel as opposed to cherishing, magnifying and sharing the truth of the Gospel. The Bible has a word for people like this, Pharisees.
Promising much, producing nothing
I recently just got back from my very first mission trip with Our God Given Mission. Whilst abroad we spent some time with some missionaries and served at the local church as well as some Christian aid agencies. As I spent some time with them, I was blown away by the sheer zeal and passion they had to share the Gospel. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. Here was a set of people, who for the rest of their life, were committed to leaving the comforts and luxuries of their own home, to move overseas to preach the Gospel to folk who were in desperate need of it. This was a group of people who cared very little about debating doctrinal issues online but instead were so deeply impassioned by the Gospel and their duty to share it as far wide as they could. What this trip made quite clear to me was that I think for a lot of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves simply love to just ‘talk’ about God. We love it. Every bible study, IG live and podcast is filled with people who have all these amazing ‘revelations’, discussions and debates about God. However, what I find more often than not, is that it’s all just talk, just Interesting empty conversations. Discussions but no discipleship. Here is what Jude had to say on the matter:
“They are like clouds blowing over dry land without giving rain, promising much but producing nothing. They are like trees without fruit at harvest time.” (Jude 1:12-13, NLT)
‘Promising much but offering nothing’, I think about this verse often, It really typifies our generation. We have access to information now more than ever, we have books, sermons, resources available at our fingertips. Long gone are the days where Christians would have to travel for weeks on horseback to even have access to the Bible. You would think that this increase in our ability to study the scriptures would lead to more Christians sold out to live a radical life. What I see instead, is more believers simply growing ‘fat’ in our knowledge. I find that much of Christianity in our culture has become more centred on discussing and debating truth as opposed to demonstrating truth. Don’t get me wrong, defending the gospel is a noble pursuit, Jude 1:3 calls us to guard the Gospel, Galatians 1:8 and 2 Timothy instruct us to guard the gospel and uphold it even when others deny it. However, as is all too often the case, we have to be wary that in our efforts to defend the faith, we do not become more invested in debating the gospel at the expense of delighting and living in the freedom it provides. Maybe you’re like me, where you enjoy dissecting, investigating and getting things right. When I became a Christian, theology allowed me to scratch that itch, immediately I fell in love with studying the Bible. One thing I’ve realised is that in my attempts to ‘get it right’ when it comes to matters of theology, I had created an idol. I had become far more concerned with knowing things about God as opposed to knowing God and making him known. As Christians, we must defend and guard the truth, trust me I know. However, we guard the truth because we cherish it. We must not cherish guarding the truth above cherishing the truth itself.
Get off your seat
We often treat our faith like our favourite football team, where we sit on the sidelines, we wear the jerseys, we cheer them on and argue with the opposing fans. We do the same with Christianity. We support our local church and denomination, wear Sunday clothes, we love discussing the Word and debating with those we disagree with, all the while remaining on the sidelines. Christianity is not a spectator sport. Now, I’m not saying you need to move to a jungle in Peru to be a missionary. That may be what God calls you to do. But what I am saying is that our allegiance to Christ doesn’t just affect how we think, but should change every aspect of our life. Faith isn’t just a theological exercise, we aren’t meant to simply think Christian things and have Christian conversations. Instead, we are called to turn what we believe into action.
The Church in the book of acts were not remarkable for their eloquent speech but rather their radical lives. These weren’t ‘special’ Christians, they were simply, Christians. As Burk Parsons would say, ‘The ordinary Christian life is a radical life. The ordinary Christian is not a complacent, passionless, nominal, or casual Christian, every Christian is radical because every Christian is united to Christ by faith and will bear radical, life-giving fruit.” This is the life we are called to live. The Christian experience isn’t just about going to church on Sunday, attending Bible studies, tweeting scriptures and going to worship nights. If that’s all we have to show for our faith then I think we have grossly missed the mark. The vibrant Christian lives we all want means leaving behind the comfort of your couch and laying your life down for real people and real causes.
“It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn’t call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace.” ~Francis Chan
So you might be most learned in the scriptures, the wisest of teachers, the greatest of counsellors, but if your faith stops at your head and doesn’t reach your heart, making you more missional, more willing to lay down your life for the sake of others, more willing to meet the needs of your community, you are not a follower of Christ, you are a spectator of Christ.
Biblical Submission: The Male Perspective
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Hold on, wait a minute. Did he say “submit”? How degrading! How archaic! Or is it? Some have perceived this to mean that women receive the rough end of the stick whilst men can kick their feet up on the desk and relax. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. Men are given a solemn and weighty call. One which requires a lifetime of devotion to fulfil. Gentlemen, your task is this: be Christ to your wife.
What is submission?
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Ephesians 5:23
The Greek term used for submission here is “hupotassō”. This a military term used to describe how a rank and file soldier would arrange themselves under the authority of their commanding officer. Therefore, while both men and women are to submit to the authority of God as the head of their life, women are to order themselves under the headship of their husband.
What is male headship?
In order to understand what male headship is, it is very useful to establish what it isn’t.
- Male headship is not inequality. Men and women were created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26-27); equal in value and dignity, yet with their respective differences.
- Male headship is not despotic. It is not cruel and demeaning, but is to lovingly lead the home in obedience and reverence to God.
- Male headship was not birthed by patriarchy. While abuses of power have been perpetuated by the patriarchy, and should be fought against, this is not the case with male headship and female submission. They find their genesis in God’s creative order.
God created man before the woman, giving him commands, animals to name, and knew that he needed a helper, Eve, whom God also allowed him to name (Genesis 2:19-24). Moreover, man is the representative of the human race (1 Corinthians 15:21-22), through whom sin entered the world (Romans 5:12). Lastly, Adam was held accountable for the sin in Eden despite the fact that Eve ate the fruit first (Genesis 3:8-9).
As male headship comes from God Himself and was founded upon the creative order rather than patriarchy, it demands our attention. We must heed to it. Men are to lovingly lead as women willingly and joyfully submit to their headship. He is to be Christ to her; reflecting Christ’s love for His church.
Sacrificial love
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
Ephesians 5:25
A man is to love his wife with the greatest form of love – agape. This is the sacrificial, selfless and giving love. It is loving in spite of, rather than because of. In other words, loving when it may not even be merited and without the expectation of receiving back. The husband is to do this as he emulates Christ’s love for the church. The church which despised Him in their sinful state, yet He gave His life up for her. The same body of believers which continues to rampantly sin against Him, but He still persists in His love for her. This is not feelings based, this is sacrificial and intentional.
Sanctifying love
…that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:26-27
The husband is to love his wife with a sanctifying love. This love helps her to grow in holiness by cleansing her with the washing of the Word of God. In aiding her spiritual flourishment and wellbeing, He is preparing her to appear before Christ blameless and without blemish.
Caring love
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Ephesians 5:28-29
Lastly, the man is instructed to lavish his lady with a caring love. Paul communicates this with an important reference to the body. When a man leaves his family to start his own, he and his wife become one body (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31-32). Christ and the church are also one body. Therefore, in a like manner to Christ, and as we ought to do with our bodies, the bridegroom must treat his bride with great care and attention because they are one. He must protect and constantly attend to her needs, loving his wife as she respects his leadership (Ephesians 5:33). While this includes her physical, emotional and mental needs, it is primarily a spiritual endeavour.
“The husband’s role is not ultimately to make sure his wife is physically and emotionally sustained. The real objective is that his wife will be prepared to meet Jesus.”[1]
Alistair Begg
The bigger picture
Two people fulfilling different roles well, makes for more harmony and less conflict. But there is a bigger, and more beautiful picture painted by their union: it reflects the Gospel. Christ gave His life for the church in order that she may be saved from her sin, sanctified and eventually presented blameless before Himself for the marriage day of Christ (the Lamb and bridegroom) to the church (the bride) (2 Cor 11:2; Revelation 19:6-9). God has honoured us by inviting us to partake in this Gospel witness, let us embrace it.
To read on biblical submission from the female perspective click here.
[1] Alistair Begg A Word to Husbands Part One February 4 2018
Three Habits to Strengthen Your Christian Life
Life can look vastly different from one season to the next. Be it school and university, singleness or dating, marriage or divorce. Maybe a season of working long hours or multiple jobs. Whatever your current season looks like, variations make life beautiful and challenging, all whilst helping us grow. One of your greatest tools through life’s variations are healthy habits that help you stay strong internally, in spite of the changes you’re navigating externally.
‘Good habits formed at youth make all the difference’. – Aristotle
In every phase of life there are things we can control and others we can’t (here’s looking at you, 2020!). Habits are small bits of life where we choose things we control and enforce those that are taking us forward increment by increment, inch-by-inch.
‘By developing and practising good habits each day, you affirm that you do have control over the very core of your life in the midst of the chaos’. – Stephen Guise
Habits take us toward a congruent life where our values are carried out and expressed in our day-to-day living. Habits can be revealing. Sometimes we say we value healthy relationships, but when we don’t make consistent, sacrificial investments into them, our values may in fact be different than we think. Our time, money, and habits are the great revealers of our true values. Here are three habits that, no matter what season of life I’ve found myself in, have helped me in my pursuit to live authentically.
The Habit of Connection
This means regularly scheduling time for the people that matter most. Budget your time to include quality time for the relationships that matter. If you want to keep relationships growing and healthy (and who doesn’t?!), then you’ll need to make time for those people to have your undivided energy and focus. I’m amazed in my family of five how easy it is to do life alongside one another without stopping to invest in the quality of time and focus needed for genuine connection. When this habit is adopted, life as a whole functions better. We’re relational beings, made in the image of a relational God. When relationships are healthy, we find added grace and fortitude to cope with life’s hardships.
The Habit of Community
Barna Group’s research shows that during COVID-19, one in three practising Christians have stopped engaging with the church during 2020, but that the emotional well-being of those who have stopped attending church has declined and is worse off than those who have continued to engage (Source: “State of the Church” report available at barna.com) I’ve observed people who’ve stepped out of a commitment to a local body for “good reasons” and those who have stuck with the habit of showing up for church in spite of disappointment. The fruit of those who stick with the local church compared to those who don’t is like comparing the fruit from a tree in summer to the fruit of a tree in winter. Bold statement, but I stand by it. My mum told me growing up that when I least wanted to attend church was a good indicator that I most needed to show up. When things are hard, we need each other more, not less. We need the word of God more, not less, when life is full and stressful. The harder life is, the more we need corporate prayer, singing, rejoicing, and sharing burdens and joy with each other.
The Habit of Care
I’ve been exercising since I was twelve years old. I’m not obsessed with it, and I don’t even love it, but I’m committed to consistently doing it. Why? Because I’ve found it helps me cope better with the demands of life. It’s a habit that’s improved my emotional and mental resilience. Your mind, your heart, and your spirit are all housed in your physical body. Some things we struggle within our minds, in our hearts, even in our spirits can be helped by making sure our bodies get enough movement to stir the stagnant waters and burn off the stress of the day.
‘Typically, people who exercise start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. Exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change.’ – Charles Duhigg
What habits have you consistently carried through various seasons of life? Have they helped pull you toward living your values, or have they pulled you away from those values? Are there any of the habits above that you’d like to implement?
Resting in God’s plan
Between contacting the adoption agency and actually bringing my children home, there was a time of preparation. It’s like being pregnant, having almost nine months to prepare your home, your heart and your mind. There are books to read, and in our case, classes to attend. We had almost a year between initial enquiry and our children coming home. We prepared a room for them, and it’s done with love. You only have to search on Pinterest, looking at pictures of nursery rooms could easily be a full-time job! Then there are the other details, so much preparation that 9 months or a year are quickly filled. In a similar way as to how we were prepared a year before meeting our children, In Ephesians 1 we see that God had prepared for us. He has chosen us, called us and brought us into His family.
Even if you don’t feel it, God is still working
When all the ‘behind the scenes’ preparation was done, we spent two weeks getting to know our children, spending more and more time with them, doing things with them, becoming closer and becoming a family. They had to learn to know us before becoming a part of us. Often God works in us for a long time, showing us more and more who Jesus is, showing us our need of a Saviour, calling us, drawing us closer to Himself, pouring out His grace in our hearts. Often we look back at this time of preparation in our life, and we marvel at the lengths our Heavenly Father went to, in order to show us how much He loved us. We look at Christ’s sacrifice, and His amazing love for us, and we know it’s all for God’s glory. So much of that is ‘behind the scenes’, and so much is still unknown to us, but we know that even now, Christ is preparing our heavenly home for us, “our mansions in glory and endless delight”.
My children are beautiful, funny and sweet, especially when life goes their way. Did we know this before they came to us? No, we had no idea. We knew a little about the trauma they had been through, we knew some of their likes and dislikes, we knew a little bit about their personalities. Thanks to our training, we knew some of the difficulties that might arise. We prepared ourselves as best we could, determined to love them no matter what. We prepared for them, wanting to bless them, using our human wisdom and prudence. As sinful, finite creatures, we often make mistakes. In Ephesians 1:8 however, we read that our Heavenly father has abounded towards us in all wisdom and prudence. Our Heavenly Father God also prepares good gifts for us, redemption and forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7). Why? Because we were such good children, and deserving of all His gifts? No, verse 5 tells us, because of His good pleasure, to the praise of the glory of his grace.
When God says “no”
Do you know what the most beautiful in this is for me? God knew us, He knew our hearts, knew everything about us. He knew that we would often despise His gifts, especially when He answers our questions with “No”, or “Not yet”. Young children struggle to hear ‘no’, and children with a traumatic background even more so, as it feels like a personal rejection of their entire being. Making a wise, prudent decision to not give our children chocolate doughnuts for dinner can cause huge meltdowns, as they feel rejected, unloved. As adults, we know better, we know we are doing what is best for our children. Have you ever felt forgotten, rejected by God, because He closed the door to your wonderful plan? He knew better, He did what was best for us because He loves us and cares for us.
So with Advent just beginning, now is a wonderful time to prepare our hearts and lives to remind ourselves how He has made us accepted in the Beloved, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, to be filled with the Spirit, to receive God’s blessings and to think about His grace.
Biblical Submission: The Female Perspective
In Ephesians 5, we find a very simple instruction given to the married men and women in the Gospel community at Ephesus. This marital counsel begins with a direct address to the women in the fellowship. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” [Ephesians 5:22]. And therein lies the fundamental word that inspires much rage and resistance. Submission. The mere mention of the word leaves many so seriously seething. But why?
Submission In The World
For many reasons, submission has been somewhat equated to a form of oppression, or relational subjugation. Unfortunately, this common perception is not too far-fetched, for in our world today, the forcible exercise of power and the excessive affirmation of authority on the part of some has been employed to the oppression of others across both social, political and religious spaces. From abusive husbands, to oppressive totalitarian government structures, to repressive religious communities, men have abused their positions of power to force others into a state of ‘submission’ of a kind.
But ‘submission’, as found in these scenarios, is not of the biblical sense. Rather, these instances only highlight the height of human depravity and serve to remind us that we, as human beings, are capable of so much evil in the absence of God, and in the absence of love. The Word of God affirms that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Therefore, the occurrence of abuse, oppression and repression in any human relationship is simply a reminder of the fallen nature of man (Romans 3:23). Thus, the problem we have here is not of submission, but of sin.
Submission In The Word
It’s important that we create a distinction between the world and the word when we talk about submission because the above scenarios that we saw in the world in no wise support the biblical view. Where submission in the world has resulted in fear, pain and persecution of a kind, submission in the Word holds hands with love and there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18).
When Paul called women to the practice of godly submission, he never once suggested that the institution of marriage be treated as a combat sport; for marriage is not a competition, neither the man nor woman competitors. More so, Paul never once implied that submission be used as a metaphorical grappling hold, to force the woman to submit out of either extreme pain or fear of harm, for marriage is not a wrestling match.
But if we are to view submission with a God-lens, by the inspiration of scripture, we find that there is a beauty and a glory in a marriage where the woman gives herself wholly to her husband, her only husband, who loves her as Christ loved the church. If we zoom in to the scripture and explore submission in the word, we find that Paul presents a complementarian view of marriage.
The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.
Matthew Henry
No room for confusion
In Ephesians 5, Paul’s marital counsel is first towards the woman. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” [Ephesians 5:22. And if we pay close attention to Paul’s choice of words, we find that his counsel was quite evidently inspired by the Holy Spirit, in that no room is left for confusion [1 Corinthians 14:33]. It is clear that the instruction was/is not to every woman but the Christian woman; more so the married Christian woman. It is also very clear that the wife’s submission ought to be directed, not to any man, and not to any husband, but her own. Now, with all clarity as to whom, the question then becomes, what does submission look like in a Christian marriage? And how does a woman fully submit herself to her own husband?
What does submission look like?
In the latter part of verse 22, Paul begins to paint a picture of what biblical submission ought to look like in the life of the Godly, Christian wife. The instruction was closed with a qualifying statement “submit… as to the Lord”, which doubly confirmed that the address was towards God-fearing women only. So, what does submission ‘as to the Lord’ look like? The word submission is derived from the Latin word ‘submissionem’, which is a lowering, letting down; sinking, or ‘submittere’, which is to let down, put down, lower, reduce, and yield.
How do you submit?
With that in mind, submission according to the scriptures is the act of yielding or surrendering your whole self to your husband, as you would to God [Romans 6:13; Ephesians 5:22]. It’s the act of humbling yourself before your husband, having recognised his authority, over you, under God [James 4:10; Ephesians 5:23]. It is giving your body a living sacrifice, that is holy and acceptable, as you would to the King of kings [Romans 12:1; Ephesians 5:24], having recognised that, within marriage, your body is no longer your own [1 Corinthians 7:4]. It is trusting your husband with your whole heart, within reason, as you would trust in the Lord [Proverbs 3:5-6; Ephesians 5:24]. And, it is loving your husband with all your heart, soul and mind as you would the Lord Jesus Christ [Matthew 22:37]. It is offering him dignity, in a manner that recognises him as a representation of Christ in your life, a fellow brother in Christ and as an image-bearer. However, one must realise that your husband is not God and must not take God’s place in your life. Now, if that’s the how, the final question is why? Why must the woman submit to her husband?
What is the purpose of submission?
Well, if all things were made by God and for the glory of God [Colossians 1:16], then that includes the institution of marriage and the family. With that in mind, it is important that we understand the true purpose of marriage, that we may view submission in the context of God’s divine plan for humanity. For marriage was not created to glorify the woman or to simply satisfy the biological needs of the man. Rather, God created the woman out of the bosom of the man [Genesis 2:22], to bring the glory to Himself. God gave man a charge to steward the earth, He put man in the garden to work it and keep it [Genesis 2:15]. But the Lord also observed that man needed a helper, to fulfil this work. And thus, the woman was created [Genesis 18-25]. Likewise, Paul the Apostle paints a picture of how the manner or presence of the woman, more so the wife, can bring glory to God by the practice of biblical submission.
For God’s Glory
So, if we are to view marriage as an earthly representation of the heavenly marriage that awaits the saints of God in glory [Matt 25:1-8; Revelation 19:7-9], when Christ will to present his bride, to ‘himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless’ [Ephesians 5:25-27], then submission will start to make sense. Just as the church submits itself, holy and acceptable to Christ, having recognised His glory and majesty, so ought the godly Christian wife to submit herself to her husband as an expression of worship to God. To honour the husband in godly submission, is to inevitably honour God since the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God [1 Corinthians 11:3]. To regard this divine order in godly submission is to worship the King of kings Himself.
And so there, we have the distinction between submission in the world and submission in the word – one word with two disparate appearances. One characterised by the presence of God and expressed to the glory of his name, while the other is characterised by His absence and that to the glory of self. With that in mind, ‘wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord’ [Ephesians 5:22] for you have the greatest opportunity to paint a picture of the Gospel to the world, through a God-fearing marriage, characterised by a godly submission.
To read more on biblical submission from the male perspective, click here.